DISCLAIMER: This entire article is opinion, parody, and satire and any facts contained here within is linked to external sources and do not reflect the opinions or views of any persons fictional, imagined, Made-up, Fake, real, or fantastical, especially in cases revolving Martians. In fact, I want to specifically specify cases revolving with Martians and even around Mars. And if you think anything said is appropriate, then note that all of the things said was appropriated from colonized subjects that were subjugated subway subpar sub sammiches. In fact, the editor disagrees with this Op-ed and so does the general populace and atleast a quarter of a fifth of a single plane of hell.

ALSO RELEVANT DISCLAIMER; I use ALL CAPS for FINRA because acronyms/corporations ‘should’ be treated as such, even if they aren’t technically divined by a holy-state/guberment. Something about Capitalis Maximalis or Capitis Diminutio Maxima and some bullshit Latin Witch-Craft. Who. Cares.

What; FINRA?

You might not have heard about these guys, well that’s because they’re fairly new. Like they are technically Gen Z new, so Millenials and Boomers are somewhat older than FINRA but it’s complicated. Here’ what they look like;

FINRA stands for Financial Industry Regulatory Authority. It sure sounds fancy, right? Almost like they have Authority of some sort, Like they’re official. I mean, I guess that’s what happens if you put a bunch of fancy words like ‘Regulatory’ and ‘Authority’ in your name. You know, Fill in some big shoes by naming yourself with bullshit.

Lmayo, you may ask why I’m salty about all this. Well, because the truth is a bit unsettling, you’ll understand, so buckle up for a(nother) scam!

Before we dive into the rathole, here’s the down and dirty;

TLDR;

Some person Saint on the internet pointed out what FINRA is all about, here is a picture from said Saint;

Or as a Wall Street Veteran calls em’ “Meter maids” lmao;

Corrupt ineffective meter maids, mind you

Hmmm,

You might think FINRA is a government regulatory body with complete adherence to market integrity and upholding investor faith and Confidence.

Well, in truth, that’s what the SEC is supposed to be. But we know how in-effective the SEC really is.

FINRA, is made of acronyms and has nice words like ‘authority’ and ‘regulashonary-something’ in their name. That’s how they trick you, the poor none-the-wiser shmuck, into thinking they have some sort of power and authority. (They do, but they don’t and we’ll cover that).

So where do I begin? Yesterday?

Hmmm, let’s go back to a time before I was born;

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The Origin story

Every Hero, Villain, and idiot has an origin story. Hell, even the shit that ends up in sewers, believe-it-or-not, came from somewhere. FINRA is no different, so here’s the ‘revised’ sparknotes history in small bites;

NASD (National Association of Securities Dealers) started out in 1939 after the Securities Act in 1934, they were to regulate themselves and take advantage of Self Regulatory Organizations.

1971; NASD creates the World’s First Automated Stock Exchange; the NASDAQ Market (National Association of Securities Dealers Automated Quotations). This also lead to a revolution in the STONKS, and gave a lot of power and clout being listed on the NASDAQ due to speed, pricing, and publicity.

Some time later, the two other Big Boys in the Exchange business, AMEX and NYSE, copy pasta this new system.

1982; NASD also creates NMS (National Market System) somewhere in-between then and now.

1984; NASD won a case against the SEC to expand the number of companies linked in NMS. NYSE and AMEX didn’t like that.

1985; Someone called NASDAQ a scam, lmao. The market was ‘rigged’ to favor the broker over the individual investor, lmao. (no way).

1998; NASDAQ bought AMEX and merged. NASD created the NASDAQ-AMEX market group to look over this shit, and then NASD created NASD Regulation and Dispute Resolution Group to oversee NASD Regulation, Inc. and NASD Dispute Resolution Inc.

2000’s NASD regulatory body starts moving away from NASDAQ and AMEX.

Then after the Royal Stonk Market (like royal ‘we’) interconnected the fuck out of the new technologies, NASD merged with NYSE in 2007 and the fusion resulted in FINRA.

This Merger was sanctioned under SEC 2007-151 Press release. This gave birfff to FINRA.

Which, in a way, sort of conglomerated and Monopolized the US markets into this weird not-monopoly of markets through the guise of ‘regulation’. But that’s me just being dumb, so Ignore that.

Normie Criticism of FINRA;

Before we start, there are some criticisms of FINRA that are just the shallow parts of a deeper cesspool of shit stuff. You know, just the tip;

Anyways, we’ll dig into other people saying much more and formulating a edumacated hypothesis on what FINRA really is.

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So WTF is FINRA?

FINRA is (atleast?) three ‘Non-profit’ corporations;

The Truth about FINRA is that it is a PRIVATE enterprise created as a sort of business consortium of Broker Dealers.

This Private corporation is also incorporated and owned by some private members, whom it also regulates.

So FINRA consists of members that regulate, you guessed it, themselves.

Does that sound like a conflict of fucking interest? Probably not.

But it does sound like a conflict of regular interest!

Wikipedia says it, so it must be true;

So FINRA is a SRO, and because “Self Regulatory” means “Self Reporting” which will help us kangaroo-jump to conclusions.

You see, in order for FINRA to collect data to regulate, they need their members to self-report themselves. Which, I mean, you gotta think about how likely anyone would snitch on themselves.

So FINRA has to do its job. . . to do its job, (duh?). Which requires other people to be honest when they fuck up.

Welcome to being a self regulatory organization/entity that decides when to turn a blind eye, including their own members.

Here’s a quote, relevant;

“I have long maintained that a self-regulatory model for monitoring Wall Street does not and will not work. To think that the brokerage industry could be properly monitored by an organization that it funds in large measure strikes me as ridiculous.”

–Larry Doyle 23+ year Wall Street Veteran

Like imagine if the police said to “go police yourself” and that sounds as good as law. No way this can go tops-y turvy or Tit’s up!

“Hey, am I committing any crimes? No, I can’t be”

Here’s the same thing I said but in meme format;

Ya know, what’s great about committing financial crime under FINRA? In theory, you just have to pretend to be ignorant and dumb, and ‘Ooops’ I forgot to report myself.

But of course, Compliance and it’s thing does a thing, so not all members want to be Non-compliant.

But hey, guess who allowed FINRA to have some Power?

That’s right, the infallible SEC.

Here’s the SEC Press Release 2007-151 I mentioned earlier that sanctioned the merger and subsequent creation of FINRA;

I’m just down right cynical, I think there might be a valid case to justify the need and existence of FINRA. But saying it’s for “Protecting Investors” from the SEC is something that I hear far too often being a lie. PrOtEcKt InV3StoRs. Ha, yea right, what a Load of-

Well, it’s a good thing FINRA came into being just right before the Great Financial Crises of 2008. I mean, what a near-miss of not being necessary because FINRA came into being just before this Financial Oversight. What I’m trying to say is, justifying FINRA After the crash would have been warranted maybe, or it might have prevented the crash, maybe.

Yup, and 2008 was totally an unrelated regulatory oversight resulted from manipulatory market practices that caused derivatives trading sanctioned from the 70/80’s to crescendo into the cluster fuck of 2008. Yup, no worries, you can bet on my bet with a C-F-ucking-D. (Totally Not Safe, by the way).

Yea, totally unrelated to the newbie fledgling private corp. . .

License to trade

“Is it a free market if you gotta get a license?” -Penniless Duke Pennydread (me) being tarded

Any hoot, FINRA becomes this sort of private financial-mercenary club/guild that also regulates members and acts in an official unofficial official unofficial role of licensing members into their official unofficial official fuck. It’s confusing.

Point is, FINRA is sanctioned-to-exist by the government via the SEC and then FINRA licenses out newbie broker-dealers into their club and those members will then have to play by their rules. You know, to keep their license and shtuff.

The license goes by Central Registration Depository (CRD) Number (until it gets replaced by ProFin/Gateway). These licenses and their holder’s relevant history are on a registrar publicly available to lookup via brokercheck (which is a good thing about FINRA), you get to read into individuals or firms that do all sorts of Financial ‘Mistakes‘. It’s a way for the public to make sure they’re investing in the right people, but the general public doesn’t even know CRD exists. That’s the edumacation for ya.

Also some professionals critique the public-user friendliness and transparency of Broker Check. so, maybe it’s not a good thing at all. A false truth with a lot of omission? or maybe too much info?

Because the average public person that want’s their money going to a trustable institution can sift through 500 or so regulatory events and 1,000’s of pages of legal disclosures to make an educated decision. Yep, don’t mind that entire (obviously) under-staffed Legal teams handle these sort of documents, all for the expectation that the average layman is able to grasp what’s a safe bet for their money. (Hint; there is No Safe Bet).

Licenses exist, and prospective members have to apply for them. Which means there is a shit ton of licenses and Exam fees which goes to FINRA and they can reap the rewards of grading your papers. And because the SEC is behind FINRA, that sorta-kinda means you don’t got a choice.

It’s almost like a pyramid scheme of exams, because to take the exam you have to be sponsored by someone who is a member and an entity who has membership, and to get membership, you need to take the specific exams. It’s like a Multi-level-marketing scheme of Exams, you know, like College or Universities.

Just another way for FINRA to collect money to help ‘uphold’ the cost of doing business. Which , I mean, is reasonable to some extent. But because of it being damn-nearly-entirely mandatory, I feel like this penguin;

Also, on a complete side note, exams are ways to enforce indoctrination of practices and ideas into those that take the test. Thereby reaffirming falsehoods and allowing clandestine market participants to continue destructive behavior simply because licensed members were ‘taught’ (brainwashed) an ‘educated’ (Shit) curriculum that ignores malfeasance.

You know, like denying the existence of “naked short selling” or “insert regulatory loophole” that they don’t want Green horn members to know about.

“It doesn’t exist because it’s illegal” -cried the retard Brainwashed fool.

But the education system just might have an outdated and shitty system. I mean, law is much like medicine or science, it’s a practice as much of an art. Translation; shit changes. (quick)

Is there Oversight over FINRA?

Or better phrased;

Here’s more commentary that paints an introspection of industry personnel (people who werk in da finance);

I mean, technically, the SEC is supposed to look over FINRA. . . Technically.

Just like how people are supposed to follow the rules and regulations made by both FINRA and the SEC. . . Technically.

So it turns out, that the public can’t look into the dealings and workings of FINRA even though FINRA is operating as a regulatory arm of the SEC. Turns out, the non-profit FINRA is still a private company or some shit. And something about “Mah Rights”, even though they provide a direct government service, you know, governing and regulating the markets. Which markets, nearly all of the Capital Markets. Big oof.

But it gets worse, it also turns out that the SEC Oversight of FINRA is ALSO EXEMPT from the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) Requests.

Here is the post/link above but in quotations with clickable links;

Here is where FOIA requests can be made at the SEC:
How to Make a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) or Privacy Act Request from the SEC

Here is an article talking about how FINRA is exempt from SEC FOIA requests regarding it’s oversight:
SEC Oversight of FINRA Exempt from FOIA Request

More articles of interest:
Court to Consider Secret Regulation of Wall Street
Judge rules SEC can withhold FINRA records
SEC Withholds Records on Oversight of FINRA
Finra: Who’s watching the watchdog?
We need more transparency as to what is actually going on.

Also, here’s this:
FINRA’s Entitlement Program Term of Use

-Source

FINRA being protected and excluded from FOIA is completely a shit-deal for the public. Because why would you want someone that is ‘to uphold truth and transparency’ not be accountable for providing said ‘truth and transparency’ of their own workings?

So, who can actually keep these goons in check? LMAYO. (hint, money)

Oh, BUT THERE’s MORE!!!!

(Here’s a video if you want it explained)

Aaaaannd People are reasonably salty, because FINRA isn’t optional.

Remember, the SEC makes FINRA mandatory. Lmao;

Speaking of legality and ‘I am the Law’

Turns out, FINRA has a bit of their own court jesters and proceedings (That whole FINRA DISPUTE RESOLUTION INC);

What that means is, as a member of FINRA, you operate under Licenses and other things issued by FINRA. FINRA has their own Internal dispute, settlements, and arbitration that act as a Pseudo-Court-of-Law-Tribunal which addresses your complaints and grievances internally. And for the majority of members, they learn to take the punches and ‘play ball’ because FINRA is sort of the only access that most people/entities have in order to participate in the capital markets on a public or official approval.

I mean, part of a scam of agreeing to a license is that you agree to a set of terms and conditions. Which means that by default FINRA has the upper hand to fist-fuck you. Because they can write their own rules, terms and agreements that are at times confusing/vague. You know, like any License. Which means you gotta play by the made-up-rules that you agreed to and have to route your complaints on complaints to the internal complaint department.

Which also doubly sucks because you don’t have a choice, remember?

SEC requires you to use FINRA if you want to play in the public (money) pool.

You know, Because the SEC can’t manage to do it all (or is stupidly lazy and grossly incompetent) so they outsource to a private contractor Regulatory Commission to provide the standards and “actual Enforcement” to the point that the Private Contractor is a necessity. It’s like if cops just sat on their asses all day and hired exclusively bounty hunters or gangsters to do their policing. Over time those bounty hunters/gangsters would gain clout, know-how, and power which would secure their footing in the enforcement sector. Quite permanently, mind you.

What I’m saying is, Government is lazy, and laziness presents opportunities to allow the Private sector to be occupy said opportunities. (Which defeats the point of government, and then what generally happens is that the Government socializes that private sector, which then becomes a cluster fuck of avoidable and mitigatable disaster. But that’s a bit off topic.)

And if things don’t go their way, FINRA files complaints to the SEC. And the SEC acts as the first level of appeals for these actions/complaints/charges.

Basically FINRA snitching to the authorities whenever someone is ‘alleged’ to do wrong IF they don’t accept the ‘allegation’ under the previously agreed ‘terms and agreements’ set by FINRA. FINRA with the authority from the Clout and Backing of the SEC.

Does that sound Scammy to you?

In the interest of most cases, people take the fines and ‘settle out of court’ to the ‘alleged’ allegations. Thereby no one ever admits of any wrong doing and the SEC lawyers can save their manpower to go back to 2010 and watch porn on the internet (No, seriously) as they wait for some Case Law to take up. Case Law to catapult and exaltingly glorify their name, clout, and prestige to be worth something other than actually serving the interests of protecting investors, the justice system, or the American Public. You know, because the SEC’s revolving door is heavy unless your name is on a case law or something.

So, FINRA comes at you and offers you a ‘plea deal’ in the guise of ‘taking an allegation to pay some fines’, and if you don’t accept, then the Truth will be in a Discovery when your Court Case ‘goes to market’. By ‘goes to market’, I mean to the SEC.

Did you know, SEC has it’s own federal court, federal lawyers, and federal judges that WILL fuck you. The SEC has their own buddy buddy court system, chances are you’re going to lose. So your choices are FINRA’s internal tribal tribunal or SEC Federally known circle jerked court jesters that will Federally prosecute you because they think they’re the good guys or some shit.

TLDR; the system is rigged, duh.

So ‘everyone’ takes the ‘allegation-plea deal’ to avoid taking an actual crime on their white collar wrap sheet. And by accepting the ‘plea deal’, you have to pay a fine and undergo other FINRA’s internal Jester Court list of punitive actions. Which are called ‘Sanctions’. FINRA’s Sanctions Nickle and dime you for the crimes ‘violations’ you commit as a FINRA member thingy.

But of course you didn’t commit them, because allegedly or some shit. And also guilt is not the same as an admission of wrong doing. But I can’t really tell you black magic Lawyery stuff, because I got Barred from my State’s Bar for drinking the bar under the table. (Is Joke, ja?)

So a Plea deal is a great deal for most of the FINRA members that “play ball”. Because the one thing you need to know, if anything, about thieves and stealing is:

you only pay for the crimes you get caught doing.

And what’s great about FINRA’s Sanctions is, they usually only charge you a small percentage of the total damages. So it almost justifies the entire thing. Would you steal $100 IF you had to pay 5% of it back IF you get caught?

I mean, I’m not saying that I would. But I’m also not saying that I wouldn’t. uh, allegedly, or something.

So if you steal $100, say, 50 times, and get caught once. All you have to do is ‘settle’ and pay back $5 and ‘be better’ or some shit. Too easy. That’s like $5,000 income for a $5 gas fee.

So if you make 500k profits through stealing, but got caught stealing 10k. You might have to pay a small fine, like, 15k. That is nothing worth how much total might’ve been actually stolen. Consider it ‘gas fees’ or ‘the cost of doing business’.

And for the most part, a lot of these members deal with millions, if not billions, of dollars. So, uh, chump change.

(I bet you on a side note, that ‘allegedly punished’ members write off FINRA’s Fines as a Tax-deductible business expenditure for licensing/regulation or some shit. Lmayo, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. It’s pretty smart, not-gunna-lie. Glad I thought of it.)

Here’s another example of a FINRA Fine to help reel in magnitude;

So Robinhood made $331 Million dollars from taking from their clients, they got fined by FINRA for $70 million. Of that $70 million, only $12.6 Million was given to the clients that lost their money. I’d be willing to bet that the $12.6 million was also split to even smaller bits to pay out financial logistics and possibly lawyers and other litigation fees.

Now, I’ll admit, this is a pretty bad example because it doesn’t go into the details about what happened or why. Don’t worry, if you keep reading, you’ll realize that there are more examples and it gets worse.

Whatever, the takeaway is:

For smaller folks, the fines are crippling and only aim to make you weaker and more non-compliant
due to the intricacies of compliance

For the bigger folks; the fines don’t mean jack shit and they collect a tax for ‘doing business’
Meaning; Punishments are lighter than the profit from the crimes
Which incentivizes Rogue Broker Dealers to be predatory and basically steal

FINRA has this Catch (All) phrase for Legalese;

So that ‘Plea-deal-settlement’ and ‘pay the fines’ has a bit of wording that is important to help understand the lack of wrong-doing, admittance, or real accountability;

Pay attention to this phrase;

“Without admitting or denying the findings”

Here’s small excerpts of FINRA actions as of July 2021;

It’s like saying “I can neither confirm nor Deny” and then proceed to pay a fine because you

“consented to the sanctions”

It’s like the firms are saying “yea, we self reported ourselves to you with information. But I’m innocent, and I ain’t admitting shit, let alone guilt. So, we neither admit nor deny shit. And we’ll consent to your fines, as long as them fines only pad your wallet and don’t impact our business. You know, don’t take more than what we agreed on, it’s a ‘settlement‘ after all.”

In all fairness, these companies basically snitch on themselves (to non official government law) in ‘self reporting’. But from what I’ve seen, they get off with light charges for their ineptness or pervasive and shitty systems.

“Oh your system isn’t modern and up to date? Oh, you lost a few (hundred thousand) trades due to a routing error? Make sure you report yourself or we’ll snitch to the SEC” -FINRA (Probably)

FINRA also has the ability to bar your license to trade or broker dealer or whatever. Which is like a death sentence, talk about putting your hand in an alligator’s mouth. Fenrir, FINRA, sounds same-ish.

I understand why this ‘Catch-all’ phrase exists, I mean, you don’t want anyone to openly admit to incriminating evidence. That would be publicly admitting to the cops that you’re guilty of a crime, even though you don’t have any evidence to indict you other than your own testimony.

I mean, who the fuck would really real-ly snitch on themselves?

(It’s why self reporting won’t work, duh)

But also, shouldn’t the SEC be able to overstep their bounds and re-usurp their power by pressing charges against nefarious actors? Especially if the same actors deem the punishment to be minor compared to the major gains?

All I’m saying is, FINRA’s internal settlement is a sham of a clown-circus-kangaroo court, and that if I were someone practicing law under the SEC, I would definitely-maybe pursue the repeat-offending malfeasant broker-dealers especially since they don’t have double jeopardy. Because settling unofficially in FINRA’s internal system is not the same thing as being tried officially in Federal court of law (or any court that is recognized by the State/Nation/Government).

So, Double jeopardy shouldn’t apply. (But I also don’t practice law, so I can’t say for sure. I would be surprised if FINRA’s internal settlement and dispute was somehow recognized. But it technically can’t because it’s not government. So, based on my limited information. FINRA’s court means jack shit, and taking a ‘plea-deal of allegedly committing wrong doing’ is basically an acquittal.)

But you’d still have to ‘try’ em in court. So you gotta build up a case and saying they ‘paid a fine from FINRA’ doesn’t admit to shit. So good luck SEC Lawyers.

Oh, also, this law suit sounds like ‘work’ and probably won’t exalt your name in case law. So have fun being a Lawyer, lmao.

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But FINRA does some gewd right?

Oh you sweet sweet winter soldier, you.

Yes, they paint a good picture. Just good enough to get the public’s trust.

A good old ‘Once-over’ for Hucksters like me.

But I’m not your typical Shmuck, see, I got news for you olds:

FINRA Does say they do gewd;

Hell, they even “advertise” it on their website.

On their website, they write about how they do gewd;

Here is another advertisement telling you How they’re the geewd guys;

And I too like stroking my own ego and justifying (the need for) my existence to randos on the internet;

This specific court case with the blind lady above has a little more deets;

So this class act did this much damage, (basically traded like crazy in a high risk play using a Blind Widow’s money and collecting a shit ton in commissions and fees);

If you do some math, $243,430.20 + $183.734.33 = $427,164.53

Guess how much this class act got ‘fined’ for?

Also note, only $155k (restitution) is going to the old lady who got ‘blindsided’ and robbed. . . Let two sinks in; now you got double the sinks.

No jail time, just barred from trading. . . (although the option exists to pursue a civil court case, sue-ing the gent).
So the total is not even paying back everything this gent stole. . . (which, I mean, the money is Long gone by now)
This is the FINRA case that they (FINRA) advertise as ‘dewing gewd’.

God damn this world is so fucking beautiful.
It makes my eyes, head, and heart hurt.
It’s a beautiful thing.

So this lady lost about half a mill, and “sees” only 155k of it back. . . And that’s if this classy gent pays up, (which we’ll dig into the failure of members from paying fines down below).

But FINRA loves talking about it, like it’s a landmark victory. (I mean, if you advertise and broadcast it, then I guess anything becomes a land-mark)

What FINRA does is collect it’s vig. It’s Sugar Mommy Money. AND FINRA just presents the illusion of regulation and enforces it on smaller members while turning blind eyes to some of da larger folks. As long as they pay for said blind eye.

Heck, these FINRA fines are practically just sanctioned endorsements and publicly displayed bribes.

You know, an Advertisement that ‘all is well in the stonk market, so you should gamble at our casino invest’

Enforcement? Just wait a minute. . . or a few years. . . How about 8?

Here’s FINRA’s Enforcement Priorities, I just want you to compare their track record with what they say their ‘priorities’ are;

But how quickly does FINRA respond?

Turns out, FINRA may take Years to actually report the issues on things.

Here’s an example; shitty firm goes for 3 years doing shitty shit under the watch of FINRA. So What’s the problem?

Yep, that’s 6 years of ‘hiding trades’.
How many? Probably a fuckton.
Seeing as $700k for just two years was a fine. We’re talking 6 years here, minimum.
And we established that fines cost less than the profits from the actions that resulted in the fines.

Side note, does fudging 6.5 million in trades mean a $180,000 fine? Idk, seems awfully WORTH IT if I were a crook;

Ignore that last one, I’m just a little salty due to recent events dealing with an idiosyncratic risk to the markets.

Anyways,

So, some smartie pants did a twice over writing up FINRA in his trilogy called ‘House of Cards’ over at reddit. House of Cards also known as ‘HOC’ caused a shift in trust in the US markets. Throwing shade and illuminating the world to the malfeasance of retards on the street;

The FINRA specific parts are part two;

And a part three;

Just know;

Date of Action by FINRA =/= Date of Occurrence of crime

So a firm can be doing a crime, FINRA can be investigating, and find enough evidence to book em’ but they let it slide until they’re finished or done. It’s like the cops letting the burglar rob you and after they get away, the cops just ticket the robbers for a small fee of guarding them as a lookout from you for robbing you.

To which, these pieces of work (HOC) have caused a cultural memetic wave, And (I as an Shunned Tsundere anthropologist) find abso-fucking-lutely fascinating. UwU intensifies

I highly recommend that you read House of Cards, but if you don’t the big takeaway is;

FINRA doesn’t stop firms and people from being bad, they wait until they finish and then fine them. Which might even be 8 years after the fact. So the 2008 shit show received fines, some as late as 2016.

Does any of the above sound fair? Well it definitely sounds like a gangster collecting their Vig with their Cash Cows called ‘members’. I’m sure some members hate compliance and FINRA. But that’s the nature of the parasitic hustle.

If you want more supplementary reading, check this article out;

Basically the same assholes members keep doing the same shit over and over and are sanctioned (protected) by FINRA. Speaking of FINRA’s Members;

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Hell Even FINRA’s Members Aren’t respecting FINRA

FINRA makes a lot of rules and regulations, which also means they piss off a lot of the people they regulate. Because, reasons.

Here’s an example of a disgruntled person (one of many, mind you);

Switching gears,

So FINRA has to make a rule saying the Members have to pay FINRA fines, fees, and DUES (Which means FINRA collects their vig on top of running business). Rule 9553;

I mention this because what follows next is hilarious. It has something to do with a Firm being barred from trading AND being fined a million dollars. So, if the incentive to pay the fines and fees was to continue trading, what incentive does a firm have if they are permanently barred from Trading to pay the fines? (hint; they don’t have any).

Apparently there has been legal Precedence or some shit that FINRA can’t be a loan shark and collect. All though, FINRA is changing their terms and conditions, one Company was able to get away with not paying FINRA.

Long story short, some Firm got fined by FINRA for $1 million dollar and some change.

The Firm was also PERMANENTLY BARRED (equivalent of a hedgie death sentence). So the Firm said something like “Fuck FINRA’s Fines” (probably).

Appeals upon Appeals ruled in favor and against both plaintiffs, fast forward the game of hot-potato, this resulted in a conclusion of;

It is to note, that FINRA has updated some terms and policies since this 2011 Court Case, and a lot has changed. Even then, there’s evidence that suggest FINRA doesn’t really pursue the fines further;

So in theory, If FINRA didn’t follow through with the punishments of barring licenses, collecting fines, and restricting trade, then a scenario could go like this;

Firm A Breaks rules X, Y, and Z.

FINRA investigates, Firm A self reports X, and Y (forget about Z).

FINRA and Firm A negotiates, and FINRA fines Firm A for Allegedly doing X (Forget about Y).

Press release is made, and the news reads something like “Firm A Fined by FINRA for X Millions of dollars for violating X”

Firm A and FINRA negotiate a payment plan for paying off the Fines.

Possible outcomes:
Firm A never gets around to paying the Fines.
Firm A actually pays less of the fines and gets a rebate.

This is all conjecture, of course

So technically, Firm A did get fined for a set amount for breaking the laws, but ‘being fined‘ and ‘paying a fine’ are two seperate things. Words Mean Things, ya know. This of course, is a hypothetical. All of which gets the average Joe to read a headline that says ‘FINRA is REGULATING BUSINESS THAT MAKES MISTAKE. FINRA DO GOOD BY FINING BAD GUYS FOR BEING BAD’ and then the average Joe thinks there is some semblance of security in these markets.

Ha, what an Average Joe-ke.

Another big issue stood tall after the Fiero court case because;

Once one cat is out of the bag, the other cool cats tend to get a lil’ curiosity and copy. . . Like a Copy Cat.

Now these Cats turn into Rabid Wolves. How? Money.

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Side note, Better Markets Comes Swinging

Better Markets is an organization wanting, -well- better markets.

“oh, we’ll make sure we watch over the bad self reported people.” Wink wink nudge nudge -FINRA (Probably)

I just want to introduce ‘Better Markets’ to reference back to later and to also help paint the next picture of wolves.

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FINRA’s “Wolf Pack”

Well, when you work in a place that hires insiders to scoop inside info on other companies, from the Front Desk Secretaries to Board Room Directors, you got to keep the optics clean. Mainly because if you hire insiders, what’s stopping from others’ scoping you out as well?

A wolf is surrounded by their wolf pack, which means more wolves with beady eyes looking for a chance. A Chance at what? Who knows, probably inside information. A ‘stock tip’ if you will.

Alright, back to FINRA, apparently Rogue Broker Dealers are doing some predatory hunting in these financial markets. Think of it like bandits, but mixed with merchants on a silk road. Now make that silk road intangible and you have the internet. You know, worse.

FINRA isn’t hard on it’s members (subjective take, but that’s my opinion).
And so the members band together in a wolf pack. WOLF PACK, HUAAAAAH

Some brokers go out of their way to hire ‘recidivist traders’

It’s like hiring a convict because they’re cheap and you already know that they play dirty.

TO which, other people have spoken that FINRA should do something, you know, like ban them;

I mean, when it comes to rule violations, it’s not like there’s a whole bunch of REPEAT OFFENDERS. . .

Naw, ignore dat.

FINRA is looking to implement new ideas to make it slightly costlier to be a wolf, but that really only means(results in) you have to be better at predatory practices. You know, incentivizing stronger elite wolves.

It’s weird that FINRA would brag about going after some gent that swindled and huckstered a blind senior widow, but at the same time they let other Wolf Pack Recidivist Gamblers get by and make a living/killing. (It’s a killing, because it’s a lot of money, and most of the time it’s about entire people’s LIFE SAVINGS. I mean, if you take someone’s life savings, isn’t that akin to killing? How about atleast in a financial sense?)

It’s almost like FINRA was advertising that Swindled Blind Senior Widow, to make fun of her and to not tout the achievements of FINRA. Almost like FINRA is making a mockery of a pilfered soul. To put blast her storied fable and on the stockade she lay to be tomatoed by those who did her in. Simply, awful.

Kind of disgusting if true, but you gotta remember, that’s just finance; I mean, why would they laugh and make a mockery of struggling disabled people?

Hey, if it helps, I’ll say “hi” to some of these evil assholes when I go to hell. Let me know what message you want me to deliver. Lmayo. (For clarification, I may or may not deliver, no promises. No Safe Bets afterall).

FINRA’s Revolving Door

Alright, so wolves prey on other wolves. They’ll hire insiders in a company that they want to spy, build up, break down, and all sorts of other espionage acts. If these firms plant spies in other firms and the SEC, what’s stopping them from warming up to FINRA?

I mean, as established above, FINRA’s existence is a conflict of interest. So why wouldn’t FINRA have smaller homie hookup conflicts of interest?

Let’s take a look at some suspicious activity. It really gets the brain juices flowing.

Here’s an example;

A history that includes working for the SEC, FINRA, and General Counsel for a Wall Street Firm. Talk about the Tri-force. . .

Well, just like any ‘Regulatory’ body, they sort of run the risk of getting bribed by the people they regulate. Maybe that’s why the regulator heads at FINRA receive comparable compensation to top Hedge Funds on Wall Street?

Let’s look at this example here;

And also general counsel for Citigroup at one point, which overlaps during his role as Chief Regulatory Officer of NYSE;

I mean, it sounds like he has his work cut out for him being the heads and general counselor and all sorts of different hats. As a moonlighter wagie-slave-uwu that worked four jobs, I can attest that there’s no fucking way he’s juggling these positions without them being intermeshed in a conflict of interest. Yea, no fucking way;

Here’s a meme because I’m a degenerate cunt;

If you want a better run down of Ketchum, check out this article. I no longer care so I’m moving on;

Here is a highly sophisticated depiction of the revolving-door game of musical chairs;

The ELI5 (explain like I’m five years old) version;

I mean, It’s not a conflict of interest if everyone is circle jerking each other, right?

It’s more like a composite of interests, where everyone’s interests align into one.

Profit

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FINRA is technically a non-profit entity

Being a Private company, FINRA justifies their existence with the ‘added boon’ that it cost no tax payer dollars to help regulate the capital markets. You know, technically true, but they also are a non-profit, that also slightly doesn’t contribute much to taxes either. Additionally, the above mention of FINRA’s power, scope, and clandestine activities doesn’t really sit well with any private regulatory committee to be in charge of. (I’m at a cross where I hate taxes and government, but also hate Private Corruption. It’s complicated. . . )

So, per public filings, FINRA falls under 501(c)(6). If you want to read more about it, here are some documents.

(I haven’t wrote the article yet, but Charities and Non-profits are (generally) scams.)

And I guarantee you, someone is making a ‘killing’ from FINRA existing.

FINRA’s balance sheet says they make enough money with the Fines to justify it existing;

I mean, 2008 is a rough year for everyone, but it was also the year that a lot of financial malfeasance was committed. So, I mean, FINRA could have recouped on some of its losses if it just went after the bankrupt-eaten businesses, banks, and hedge funds. Lmayo, just kidding. But because of that 2008 loss, FINRA is sitting on an aggregate loss of $523 Million dollars or so. Like in 2008 they were only able to issue $28 million in fines? (Granted, due to the ‘delayed’ nature of work, the 2016 fines were probably linked to the 2008 shit-show).

(if we were to omit 2008 debauchery and fiasco, then FINRA would stand at a positive aggregate surplus balance of about $177 million dollars)

Hmm, I was gonna

ignore that blip in 2008 because 2008 fucked everyone, but then I had a change of Mind. Maybe a Change of heart even. I wanted to know the ‘why’ a substantial loss of nearly a Billion dollars popped up in 2008.

So I dug my hands down the assless chaps of this corporate pdf.

It Turns out FINRA gambles on the markets;

What kind of investments?

Oh, it gets juicier;

I’m gonna translate the bottom blurb to make sense for youz, since you seem like an easy fella to once-over;

“FINRA periodically monitors and evaluates the realizability of its available-for-sale and cost method investments.”

Translation: We might have some inside tips non-public monitored information on what shit is worth/valued at.

“When assessing realizability, including other-than-temporary declines in value, we consider such factors as the extent of the decline in value, the duration of unrealized losses and the potential for recovery in the near term.”

Translation: We might think about the gains and the sweet sweet tendies, also the foreseeable ‘dump’ in value that might *looks at data* will occur.

“We also review the financial statements of our cost and equity method investments for potential indicators of impairment. If events and circumstances indicate that a decline in the value of these assets has occurred and is deemed other-than-temporary,”

Translation: Sometimes we think a stonk might go down in value due to the previous data we sifted through,

“The carrying value of the investment is reduced to its fair value and the impairment is charged to earnings.”

Translation: Then we sell the stonk before it does.

*sigh*

So, let me get this straight, the Market Regulators that are private, that regulate the markets, also invest heavily into the markets? With ACTIVE positions?

Is that more of a conflict of interest?

It almost sounds like FINRA is just a large Family Hedge fund, made of Family members who just happen to also partake in the market. ‘Gotta play by Mommy (FINRA) and Daddy’s (SEC) rules”.

Let me say it differently but simi-lah. Imagine a boxing match (probably-definitely-maybe rigged), Daddy-long Dick is fighting Shorty-McGee. FINRA is the referee and he can place a bet on either Daddy-Long Dick or Shorty McGee. Does that sound like a conflict of fucking interest?

No?

Alright then, fuck me, got-it. How about this;

It’s a boxing match, and Two boxers are boxing. One is some poor chump. The other is FINRA.

Guess who is the ref for the match? It’s FINRA.

Imagine the odds to win a match against an opponent who is also regulating the match?

Oh, guess who also gets to, and is, bet on the match? It’s FINRA.

So you’re Bantam weight ass is fighting a Heavy weight, that is also the ref, and has an open position on the outcome of the match. Like seriously, what the fuck?

Same thing but in meme format;

I mean, just look at the numbahs;

And hell, you can read more about the investing that FINRA does. There’s more paragraphs in that document. I just stopped caring about it, but there’s more evidence and probably juicy details. (sometimes I throwaway a good meal, big deal).

I mean, if you make money then you must be taking money from someone who losses money. (I’ve written about how stonks really works).

Somehow, it just begs the question. These are numbers from FINRA’s Investing in 2008, I wonder what they look like today.

(In Defense of FINRA, holding onto USD as cash is a shitty deal, because of inflation. You’d be losing out on your investment simply by holding, it’s actually common for businesses and many financial firms to ‘park their cash’ in assets that have steady ‘stability’, or appreciation. Vice depreciation US Tendies. I.e. Tesla investing in Bitcoins. -However, FINRA investing in the market that it regulates to park it’s cash reserves, is. . . well. . . Conflicting at the least.)

Remember, I’ve only presented easy to find public data, imagine that’s the tip of the ice berg;

Hell, if you read HOC II posted above, you might’ve caught this snippet;

AND there is even a theory that FINRA knew 2008 was coming, I mean why else would they liquidate some holdings in mid 2007? What, you mean they had underwriting reasons that didn’t rely on the insider information of their regulatory oversight of other corporations trades? Ha, Fat-maybe.

All I’m saying is, if you’re regulating the trades and dealings of people, then you’re also getting their sweet sweet data. Which can be interpreted as insider information. So, in a way, FINRA has some foresight into the future due to their conflict of interest as a regulator of ALL broker dealers, and FINRA can trade with this information.

So, FINRA is basically a secret data pool of insider trading with insight into most/everyone’s positions. talk about screen peaking or cheating with No-fog-of-war.

Because FINRA does trade, how do we know they’re not using said information? Well, we can’t just ‘ask’ them. . . Remember, FOIA and all that we just talked about?

Is any of this clicking in your head? or Am I preaching to a Covid WWE audience?

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Oh, by the way, here is the salary of some of FINRA’s highest paying members;

A lot of these people clocked for 60 hour work weeks (how many hours do they actually work? Idk, could be more, could be less), but getting paid the salaried millions of dollars? That must be nice. Gotta love non-profits making profits (Tis joke, ja?).

And we just talked about a revolving door. . . So. . .

But Wait, there’s more!

(Rest in peace Billy Mays, you Giga Chad you)

So, FINRA is even trying to keep the Department of Labor(DOL) from regulating the markets. Seems like the DOL wants to make your retirement investor/manager act on your best interest. Isn’t that how fiduciaries are supposed to work? You know, and not “Merrill Lynch it” like in 2008’s CDOs or CFDs or go ka-pluey.

Why? Because fuck your pension.

Profit Matters.

Here’s extra reading for more information on Best Interest from FINRA (probably got juicy deets, idk, you can connect the dots. I mean puzzle pieces aren’t fun if they come pre-assembled. . . oh wait, wtf?

Currently, to my knowledge, as of 2021, RIA (registered Investment Advisors) do not have to subscribe and register under FINRA’s monopolistic regulatory practices. Which is good and bad for different reasons. But, just know, that in the future, FINRA will want this to become a mandatory thing. . . Because Profit Matters.

FINRA tries to ‘fight back’ the ‘wolves’

Remember those wolves? It’s a good excuse to crackdown and draw more power.

So is it like this?

or Like this?

Anyway,

The SEC approved a rule change as seen in this document.

FINRA would adopt Rule 4111 to make more stringent requirements and obligations of members with ‘significantly higher levels of risk-related disclosures’ marking these members as a ‘Restricted Firm’.

Rule 4111 Gives FINRA more power to regulate the internal affairs and restrict a firm based on some criteria or whatever. If you want, you can read more here.

Big take away, FINRA gets a little more power to do more things, because it didn’t have enough power to do things before? Uhmmm?

so, uh, is FINRA a lame duck?

Well, FINRA makes a bit of money from regulating the markets as well as gambling in them. And because they’re able to turn a profit in investing in the markets (that they regulate), it would seem that FINRA has more than enough power.

I mean, if you regulate the markets and gamble in the markets, then you gotta be really retarded to lose.

So does FINRA intentionally turn a blind eye to malfeasant broker-dealers? I mean, it sure is possible. We can’t access records via FOIA though, remember? (laughs in REDACTED)

So we don’t know what they’re doing, but giving them more power to do it when they are already making money from the power that they already have, is probably not a good thing.

Probably,

Power Grab you say?

FINRA is looking to not just Regulate as in regulate, but to down right control the markets. (allegedly)

Which, I mean, do you know how many people put 100% of their portfolio in a single stock? Straight up degeneracy, and I love it. If Rule 2165 is in effect and updated, then you run the risk of the broker dealers and FINRA being able to prevent you from trading or doing anything. Forcing you to be a bag holder at loss while they determine your sanity or whatever.

Does it sound like your money is stuck in a Ponzi scheme now?

We’re also not talking about a single trading day;

Which, if you have thee olde blood of Wall Street Bets, you’re probably retraded. Retadred? Reerarded? huck.

Let’s Recap some things on Corrupt ineffective meter maids;

These are the logical speculatory conclusions from the public information contained here within

FINRA is sanctioned to exist by the government/SEC making it mandatory for many to play by FINRA’s rules and pay into the licenses.
FINRA is a private, non-government regulatory body that regulates almost all broker dealers.
FINRA consists of some of the members that FINRA regulates.
FINRA is a non-profit, which means it doesn’t pay as much in taxes.

FINRA has their own internal kangaroo court and is selectively biased/discriminatorily hard on it’s smaller members.
FINRA isn’t hard on their high paying casino clients, and also delays their fines and allegations up to 12 years later, long after damage has been done.

FINRA allows Wolf pack members and recidivist practices and asks for more power when FINRA has enough power to make gains off of the markets they regulate.

oh yea, FINRA gambles in the market they regulate.

The Fees that Members pay from the Fine get laundered back into the pool for the Members, that they pay themselves. To be reinvested in the market through partnerships and deals to subsidiary or tangentially related member firms. . . That FINRA regulates. . .

FINRA has a revolving door and many conflicts of interest.
FINRA also has a generous payroll competitive with TOP firms, yet their high ranking executives also hold general counsel positions. . . Double dipping, much?
FINRA is also trying to expand their power and influence from other regulatory bodies in a regulatory war/land grab. (I didn’t really go too much into it, but against DOL and FSI. There’s more in this, barely scratched the surface).

FINRA is a hypocrite when it comes to making the markets better because they avoid their own truth and transparency because;

No FOIA
No Open books
No Open meetings
No Cost-benefit analysis for rules and regulations
No Ethics Rules designed to address conflicts of interest

Simply no oversight, public or governmental, made public to keep these actors in check.

Also,

FINRA’s members have to report information to FINRA, FINRA becomes a tool for larger firms and institutions to possibly leverage insider information from because of the self reported data. This creates a large conflict of interest and an unfair market advantage. (assuming that the initial conflicts of interest is leveraged to abuse this data).

Again, these are the logical speculatory conclusions from only the public information contained here within.

Closing Counter Arguments in Defense of FINRA

Well, FINRA is sort of new, and they sort of are trying their best to sort of do things. There just happens to be too many actors and not enough ‘tips’ on reporting or whistleblowing to help enforce compliance and regulations.

Also, a lot of companies use internal systems that require experience to go through, so self-reporting is currently the fastest way to get things done.

FINRA can’t be too powerful and also can’t be a weak chump. That’s the balance on a knife’s edge of regulatory committees and shits.

Or maybe that’s what they want you to think and FINRA is actually a bigger scam. You know, like a shell company.

Because they have enough power and insight to sell or trade to market participants to win money, so if their investments in active positions work, then they’re too powerful as is.

In fact, there’s not really a good Defense for FINRA because of all the blatant disregard for markets and the smaller members. FINRA is a scam.

Some Shout outs before I close shop;

Hey, give some traffic to Better Markets and Healthy Markets

I personally don’t like the inevitable conclusion of their Noble cause, but they’re not corrupted yet. Or maybe I don’t like them because they’re not corrupted yet? Noble Cause Corruption anyone?

Regardless, you should support them and get news and stuff if you actually care about any of this.

Also, keep one eye open to the work being done in r/Superstonk. One clue and you can investigate deeper into how shitty and beautiful this world is.

In Closing

It took me about a month to compile all this shtuff. To which, you can read in a day or two and digest in a week or so. You’re fucking welcome. It’s also all obviously fake and satire and remember that this started with a disclaimer? Yea, don’t deal with Martians. That’s the bigger takeaway.

This is a shallow look into FINRA, there’s a lot of information and this will serve more as a primer. Do your own research;

I didn’t even Talk about CAT, ARS, or ADT, which I could totally bullshit in the future. So maybe, idk.

I mean, do you have any idea how deep a discussion into ARS would be? It would be probably just as long if not longer than this article. And that’s a FINRA ran racket (insert trademark symbol with your imagination).

Also, While we’re at it, SIPC is a fucking SCAM. But I guess you’ll just have to wait form my article for me to explain the why.

I also Didn’t mention the FSI Regulatory land grab to regulate markets(2009) outside/inside-kind-of of FINRA’s scope. But, I mean, FSI isn’t really FINRA, even though FSI handles some jurisdiction of FINRA and DOL. That’s a different can of worms, of regulatory dick measuring and weird truce(2012). This article is already long as fuck, we’ll talk about regulatory WARS later.

“FINRA (should stand for) Financial Institution Not Regulating Anything“- rando person

You see, just like any good scam, FINRA just has to be hard on the middle men. That way people have faith in the majority of actions that they take. Thus, when FINRA does some illegal gangster-shit, then no one will believe in it.

It’s smoke and mirrors, optics, a con-fidence game. Duh.

So FINRA will bust the chops of small broker dealers, small rogue traders at a big desk, petty crimes, you know. That way the headlines of several million or hundreds of thousands in fines sure sounds like FINRA is doing a good job. But in reality, that’s just a cover and a collection for the cost of doing business. You know, the vig.

It also makes Compliance hard as fuck, they will fuck you over if you break Compliance, if you know anyone who works remotely near markets, you will know that you don’t “Fuck around and find out” with Compliance.

And all of this builds the public’s trust to trust this SRO into thinking that they are the good guys.

You see, if enough people think the world is just and fair, no one will question when the powerful clandestine usurp power and sweep people to financial ruin through measured rumination. It’s like a frog in a slooooow boiling pot of water, welcome to shit-(so)-ciety.

Think about it, if the SEC is already under regulatory capture. What’s stopping Private FINRA from being regulatory captured?

The SEC literally oversees FINRA.

Make. It. Make. Sense.

*sigh*

Maybe we should abolish FINRA?

In the end, I don’t really give a fuck. I just write because it’s funny.

I don’t hold any animosity for FINRA, really, I don’t care if they keep doing their thing or if they turn and wield the path of light and truth. I truly could give less of a fuck. My soul is but a stranger in this strange place, and I may or maynot start a dust Empire here on this blue dust mote. Although, I’m kinda not liking the weather, to be honest.

Yes, FINRA is a scam, but so is everything. That’s -like- the point. It’s All a not safe bet. So there are No Safe Bets.

I mean, without a monopoly like FINRA, what would we have? A free market? Who would want that?

We should go back to shorting Economies and filling up Senior Citizen’s Retirement accounts with CFDs.
You know, for Profit.

Because in the end, Profit Matters. Or something, I skipped Sunday school so I’m not so gewd on morals.

Lmayo

Here’s some Not Valid Advice before we fade into the inevitable-maybe darkness,

Don’t be angry, it’s like drinking poison and hoping for the other guy to die. A total scam.
Just be mindful of what’s going on, shift your perspective.
All people aren’t all evil, they’re just rotten from being discarded and left on the ground.
Stuck in a rut and maybe kicked while they’re down, you know, trauma,
So pick em up, brush em off, and wash em till their good as new.
Redeemed and born again or whatever.

Or these people are retarded, like really retarded,
And would you really make fun of a real retard?

How does the Buddhist saying go?
It’s hard to see your reflection in boiling water?
Yea, don’t let anger cloud your judgement,
That’s some low vibe shit.

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice

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P.S.

If you haven’t clicked the links to follow the sources, check out this article by InvestmentNews, it’s hella good.

Here’s also another great Critic of FINRA, Senseoncents by a Wall Street Veteran.

Here’s a link to some working paper about firm misconduct or something.

I found it, proceeded to not read it, but it sounded cool. PDF here for shits and giggles.