How Empires commit suicide

TL;DR: The easiest way is to debase their currency.

Then they get fucked/enslaved/annexed by their debtors
A Revolt occurs and fucks things up.

The typical Life span of an Empire follows seven stages;

These seven stages are:

  • The Age of Pioneers (Outburst)
  • The Age of Conquests.
  • The Age of Commerce.
  • The Age of Affluence.
  • The Age of Intellect.
  • The Age of Decadence.
  • The Age of Decline & Collapse.

You can click here to do your own research on what the fuck I just pulled out of my ass, and remember you can always commit suicide and kys early. (at any point an Empire can skip to the Age of Decline and Collapse, I’m not talking about homi-sucide, that’s insensitive.)

In fact the most common form of Empirical Suicide is via revolutions. Where part of the Empire rebels and takes down a portion or all of the empire.

What is Empircal suicide? Well if you can’t infer what the context that I’m referencing, Empirical Suicide is a word that I just made up. Here’s how;

And that’s how mafia works Compound Words Form.

Revolutions, as the name implies, is revolving. So we start from square one after hitting the ‘reset’ revolution button. New taxes, new rules, new hegemony, etc. Just know that the reset button can be pressed at any time.

Trust me, after a revolution, the Empire may have its name but it’s no longer the same.

Lets look at some notable reasons why revolutions occur:

French revolution: TLDR: Wealth inequity

World War 2 was basically a revolt. Germany couldn’t pay its debt and had to deal with hyper inflation. So they were like, ‘fuck this, let’s invade Poland’. Weimar republic hyper inflation and all.

And Revolutions are basically wars. (and also, all wars are essentially banker’s wars)

(As a reminder)

“The sinews of war are infinite money”
-Marcus Tullius Cicero

American Revolution: Taxes

The Boston tea party was great, mainly because a bunch of colonials didn’t want to deal with Taxes so they dressed up like Indians and under the cloak of night they dumped bricks of tea.

Like bricks before Yayo was Bricked;


Which amounted to millions of Funny Money worth of damage Rightfully pissing off a bunch of people.

Arguably these guys, our founding fathers, would be the equivalent of radicals or extremists or ‘terrorists’ in the eyes of the King. Ya know, it’s ya boi (with) Treason.

Tea was pretty important because that was their source of energy and bullshit and culture. They had fuck-all for energy, you see Coffee wasn’t popular or as prevalent until Americans said Fuck-Tea. Also energy drinks weren’t a thing yet, so, all of this was basically saying:

‘we can’t live in this society with your absurd prices and taxes so we’d rather revolt’.

So they dumped all the tea in the harbor and later lead a revolution sayings something about;

‘no taxation without representation’

And after a bunch of fuck ups and a series of fucking over the masses in collective punishment and quartering of troops, the rest of the colonists were like ‘Fuck the Bri”ish’ I guess.

Now let’s go to ask why people revolt.

Crime is a pathology (allegedly* Sometimes**)

This is assuming that people are a product of their upbringings, giving way that everything is a result of some action, sum of inputs and outputs, yada-yada. This doesn’t mean free will isn’t real or doesn’t exist, but that statistically, free will will freely choose the choice that is more causal and thus we are probabilistically going to respond a certain way depending on various factors and variables influencing our so called ‘agency’.

Besides all of that jazz, there’s two main reasons to commit crime;

1. Ignorance


2. The benefits outweigh the risks.

(If you believe in systems having more power than free-will then everyone is a victim. Congratulations.)

The person who steals or commits crime does so to survive. They have taken the path of least resistance which is the path that they know or have treaded, hence it being a pathology.

I mean, just ask a number of inmate whether they had a good role model or father figure. Quick answer, they don’t.

Turns out, if you mix fatherless childhood, sprinkle some poverty, and put baby in a corner, the result is crime.

What’s the secret ingredient? Well the secret ingredient is;

So, turns out, people who commit crimes are more likely to commit more crimes. Repeat offenders type-of-way. Mainly because the path that has a trail gets taken, over the path that doesn’t. What’s the saying, ‘tried and true’?

When people are willing to break laws to survive, that’s when morality and justice are at odds.

Because to be ‘moral and just’ in society that deems your life not worth living, turns you against that society. I mean, if society says you deserve to die, then you just might go ahead and disagree with society.

In turn you might even come to see that society as itself being immoral and riddled with injustice.

Are the thieves the bad goys?

So when food prices go the fuck up, guess what we’re going to have for breakfast?

A revolution.

If people can’t afford food, they go to crime, if it gets worse, you get a revolt.

Here’s a Quote by Vladimir Lenin;

“Society is three meals away from collapse”

Easy enough to be pissed when you don’t have breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

Remember, when the options are crime or death, turns out, people pick crime.

That means, when revolution and saying ‘fuck the system’ is more viable than being a cog in the machine, people pick revolution.

So make sure we keep prices in check and at least make it seem like Life is fair.

So Wealth inequity + general hardship = Revolt

Here’s a poem I found from a bathroom stall.

Boss made a dollar
I made a dime,
That was a poem
From a simpler time.

Now Boss makes a thousand
And gives us a cent
While he’s got employees
Who can’t pay the rent.

So when boss makes a million
And the workers make jack
Then that’s when we riot
And take our lives back

-Bathroom Stall

And by ‘I Found’, what I mean is, I found it on the internet. You’re welcome.

Honestly, I’d add to that poem something about the effect of billionaires going into space and Liars using Mass media in efforts to gaslighting the commonwealth. Which should be illegal as fuck, in my opinion (the gaslighting, not going to space. Honestly, IDGAF if you’re a billionaire or if you go to space. You do you, billy-boo).

Something something, wage laws, labor laws, collective bargaining, and something something. Point is, bureaucracy and policy can only do so much until a system is riddled with loopholes and corruption that just makes it not worth salvaging.

A Band aid fix can cover up a few scratches, but what about a gnawed off or amputated limb?

The question comes to;

What happens if the cost of repairing a system outweighs the cost of building a new one?


lemme tell you a thing called ‘savings’ (proceeds not to tell you).

You buy the new shit and trash the old one. No one wants sentimental value of an abuser, let alone an abusive system. So guess what we have on our hands?

A revolution, is this what you want?

Side note after going off, before I go off again, here I go off;

The FED (and most regimes/kings/governments) are the source of debasing their own currency.

You can look at Athens or any nation that has fucked up their currency. In fact, this is one of the biggest problems in Economics; the whole “Why do nations fail and revert to economic barbarism?” (Economic Barbarism means stealing your shit).

The short answer is no one fucking knows. The long answer is Read a book and figure it out. Also, a Good Economist named Michael Hudson talks a great deal about this, and he’s a smart fellow that cares about the balance of payments and not just Money Printer go BRRR.

Speaking of debasing currency, here’s a picture;

le example

And when we perform acts of ‘quantitative easing’ with fiat currency, we are actually doing equivalent actions of devaluing the US Dollar. You know; debasing our currency.

(just look at all da countries that sold off the USD ties and US Debt)



In Closing,

The stages of an empire is the life cycle of an empire, but at any point it can decide to kill itself by simply doing dumb shit.

Turns out, You don’t have to die of natural causes to die. Hence the Empirical Suicide available at any time.

As much of the death throes of an empire is comfortable music to my ears, you gotta remember.

A revolution is just that, a revolving thing.

The life CYCLE of an empire repeats. Begins anew, begins again a- gain.

So enjoy whatever springs forth from the ashes, and make sure to put safety locks on your weapons of mass Destruction. You don’t want your fledgling empire to get a hold of something, heck they haven’t even reached their teenage years (about 700 years give or take 300).

(If you make the game a little more fair for the poors, it’s less likely that a revolt will happen. Just so you know. (That also includes economic development globally of the impoverished but at a rate that doesn’t disenfranchise your local populace. I shouldn’t have to say that but, I mean. *Points at everything around you*))

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice

Update, January 2022;

here is a new meme I found Future-Comrade-in-by-Law;

The collapse or the revolution will happen, maybe not in our lifetime, but eventually. Probably.


There are some theories on how to prevent this. I think the two most viable options are;

1.Invent immortality AND perpetual energy.


2.Undergo Mitosis like any culture or unicellular block of shit. Basically to balkanization the Empire and possibly let them compete to see who has the right to be superior and live. (That’s what humanity is doing on a global scale. The Human Empire is balkanized into different micro empires). If you look at how most British colonies worked, they revolted and stole a piece of British Empire, and became their own mini empire that we call CUnTrEeS or whatever. Technically speaking, the American Civil war was a form of this too, US got split under mitosis and then one organism ate the other. Empirical Cannibalism baby.


What I’m trying to say with this entire post is that ;

Any fiscal or whatever economic retard policy only kicks the can and makes things worse. Deflationary spiral is gonna suck. But also, without those retarded policies we’d already be in deflationary spirals. So we sort of are borrowing from our future (again) by kicking this problem and not having a viable solution to the economic situation.

Its up to us to not be dicks when the times get hard and the trying times begin. Hunger games and all. But shittily, during these shitty times is when violence and barbarism reign supreme. A la anarchy and Mad Max type shit. Turns out, taking someone else’s shit is 100% gains with variable risks.


Longer than a century or two ago, I wrote a paper on why Hitler wasn’t a bad guy. This was pre-internet era. And let me tell you, I completely bullshitted and procrastinated that paper, and I got high marks for it. My English Teacher said it was enlightening and introspective. Typical Highschool education for you.

And if you realize, Hitler wasn’t around a century or two ago, then you might be smarter than the average bear. If not, well, that’s fine too.


I can literally write (almost) whatever the fuck I want.

LMAYO, welcome to the shit-world. Grab a chair and a pack of smokes, the smoking lantern is always L-I-T.

That’s also not a safe bet, bee-tee-dubs.

UPDATE 14 August 2021;

There are signs,

It’s happening

-Aug 10


The cracks of an empire are emerging, what will come of it? A pheonix from an egg? or a broken egg?

4 thoughts on “How Empires commit suicide

Leave a Reply