America was founded on Piracy

Pirates aren’t the bad guys, mkay (this was the alternate title)

They’re the bad guys, but not the bad guys, mkay

These are trying times in this hard world (always has and always will be), and when you get oppressed and fucked over, of course you’d turn to crime.

First, let’s talk about some modern shit that’s going on, then we’ll talk about the origin of pirates, and then we’ll dive into Baby-Murica and the continental Navy.

Think about it like a three course meal, with two appetizers.

Somali Pirates

We have to thank Somali (or Somalian) Pirates for this meme;

You see, this meme came from a movie about Somali Pirates or something. And Somali Pirates had an honest upbringing.

So background;

Here is where Somali is at;

because frankly, I didn’t know where they were located either

For the last century, the United States and United Nations and some other globalist pigs trying to install a puppet government. They, in traditional fashion, failed like idiots they are. What that means is, there is a ton of civil unrest.

Here’s an article that agrees with what I’m saying, and also wrongly (dumb-as-fuck) offers the first step to be the failing thing that the globies- failed to do;

Some places don’t want government,
Stop enforcing shit,
Just fucking chart a course around Africa, Fuck the Suez Canal

The population in this country, basically exploded to like a shit ton (relatively speaking). Like 16 million as of today (2022);

So, they went from like 2 million to 16 million in 70 years, a change of 8x

Which compared to America, let’s see here;

So America, the land of abundance, obesity, and plenty of food that we throw food away every second, grew by about a factor of 2.25x in a steady amount of time.

While Somalia doesn’t have shit for food and grew by a factor of 8x.

So what I’m saying is, people are fucking starving. There’s a lot of scarcity.

This article that is undated says about 11 million people in need of food, assuming a population of 16 mil in today’s time, that’s a lot. And if this article is older, well, then it’s even more fucked because that means a larger majority of the population were ‘in need’.

So not only are large Governments trying to usurp control over Somalia, they (Somalia) are also starving, and what little they do have -gets messed with.

Foreign nations started dumping toxic waste in 2004;


So the same assholes that are trying to initiate their own puppet government as they gut the citizenry in trade, are also the guys that treat their (Somalia’s) home as a waste dump.

Yea, just dump it on the shore lines, ignore Literally international law.

It’s a pro gamer move; that way Somalia will have a newfound and greater appreciation of governments and laws, seeing as Euro-idiots are dumping on their home turf.

(Turns out, that is sarcasm, and it only fuels to make them hate Foreign influence and governments. Especially when they don’t even follow their laws.)

Large fishing corporations stealing their local fish;

Also in 2004, Corpo-shits stole fish for money. Also, fuck respecting sea-borders, apparently. Fuck international laws on fishing, we poaching your shit to sell.


Yea, key words ‘depleting stocks previously available to local fishermen’.

If you know where this is going, then you might know that food is pretty damn important. It’s the collapse of an empire, some of the ways to cause empirical suicide. Luckily (or unluckily), Somalia doesn’t have an empire, so they are in turmoil, which means lawlessness, which means Fuck everyone else, and then we get pirates.

So what do fisherman with boats do with no fish?

Idk, let’s give it one year?

And the first large Piracy attack happened in 2005,

Weird. One year after dumping shit all over their food supply (outside of farm yields). Why would Pirates want to protect the fish that they eat for food? It’s not like the Pirates wanted to eat food to live? That would be absurd!

-You think I’m joking
(I am (But I’m not))

It is resentment coupled with starvation and brooding in hate while trying to collect money as a toll for assholes boating through that area of the seas. The outside assholes called it ‘kidnapping’ while the Somalians called it a ‘toll’ or a ‘vig’ for fucking around and finding out on their turf.

The World at large doesn’t recognize Local Somalian Authorities, that’s why we call em ‘pirates’. Because them enforcing their countries borders and protecting their nation is viewed as piracy to us, thereby we can be little globalist-bitch bois and not actually wage war or actually stop ourselves from stealing, killing, and confiscating ‘pirate’ ships.

It’s just a label for political posturing of a delicate issue that mainly gets ignored. Because the needs of a few replenishing bodies is largely inconsequential to the profits of a few.

What I’m saying is,

The dominant sea-powers in Somalia are being branded as pirates and their authority is ignored, instead of them protecting their country and collecting a toll. So they arrest and apprehend people and confiscate their shit.

But the international community that has been fucking over Somalia ignores their authority and deems the arrests as unjustified, calls Somalia a bunch of pirates, and calls the detainment a ‘kidnapping’ giving the casus belli to send troops in a non-war time to commit war-time crimes against Somalia.

That’s basically what’s happening. I, of course, am speculating our of my ass. Yet it sounds believable! I’m not here to get you to care about Somalian politics, I’m here to talk about pirates. The point here is pirates.


But also, the piracy and pirate attacks have died down in reporting since 2018, so who knows what’s going on. I just want you to understand why someone would turn to a desperate measure of crime and become a pirate.

The Republic of Pirates was founded on piracy.


The whole impressment thing was bullshit

The Navies at the time, ran a thing called ‘impressment’ where they would ‘impress’ people into signing a document and be told that they’re a sailor.

By impressing people, I meant getting them blacked out drunk, or literally clubbing them into unconsciousness and a heft concussion. (The origins to being ‘impressed’ isn’t a good thing).

And by Signing a document to be ‘in listed’ into a ship’s manifest, I meant waking up on the ship and being told that they had to work like a slave.

The British, among other navies, Kidnapped people, got them drunk, beat them up, and put them to slavery at sea. Many people didn’t get to see their families again, and these same people never even got to say goodbye. Their wives would be waiting while thinking that their husband abandoned them.

And even more people never knew how to swim.

This was life. I wish I was joking, but this shit really happened.

So no wonder people thought this whole shitass was bullshit.

No wonder people caused a mutiny.

No wonder people became pirates.

If you are living in a unjust society that one-sidedly determines your fate unjustly against your will. The most just thing you could do is to overturn the decisions of authority and reclaim your own life via a rebellious uprising.

Honestly, I bet the first few pirates from all this ‘impressment’ bullshit probably were akin to the underground railroad. What I mean was, these pirates probably saved and freed many more sea-slaves and impressed men. They probably also left the fate of the defeated Naval Officers into the hands of their impressed crew, to let their crew have a jab at their shitty Cap’n. So the Good Captains would be spared, but the majority of the shitty British fuck-twats would be eccentrically killed by their tortured ex-slaves.

Of course, what I’m saying is speculation about what they did, there’s a shit ton of history. And many more people who knows what happened. I’m just saying what I would do if I was kidnapped and put to work on a ship with some cunts barking orders.

The navies at the time were bullshit.
I mean, the Navies today are bullshit.
Just imagine how bad it was back then.
Probably more bullshit.
I’m a Sailor by the way.
Capsized two times, fuck yea.
I’ve also earned the right to wear seven swallow tats.
Which doesn’t mean shit, because modern sailing is cake.
Back to pirates, don’t get me distracted here,

Impressment and a lot of unlawfulness and injustice pretty much lead to the American Revolution as well. I mean, if the law is unjust, then perhaps its the outlaws that are the ones with justice. Oppression leads to desire for freedom against tyranny.

I bet American citizens and distant family members of the colonists got impressed, that probably pushed the drive for many to say ‘fuck the Bri”ish’.

But betting is, how you say, risky, eh?

Now for the main course;

America was founded on piracy

We had our founding fathers dress up in Native American apparel and raided a British ship to throw the goods into the ocean under the Cloak and dagger of night, this was known as the Boston Tea Party.

The revolutionaries were ‘terrorists’ and ‘pirates’ in the eyes of the king. That’s a fact.

Hell, they were oppressed by rules and shit policies while treated as second-class to British bois and their red coats.

I mean, let me tell ya. If you were a powerful racist group of white people, then you would definitely not like being treated as lesser people nor would you accept oppression. Of course, that’s assuming racist white people, so you either agree or are a cuck.

Anyways, point being, America Revolted.

John Paul -Muther Fucking- Jones stole a British Navy Ship.

He also intended to kidnap an Earl, that’s premeditated attempt at human trafficking home-boy.

He also Stole silver and other things, to include tea, because Everyone loves commemorating the Boston Tea Party.

Sounds like a fucking Pirate to me. Looks like a pirate, walks like a pirate, steals like a pirate, sails like a pirate, must be a fookin pirate.

The legend/story goes, that John Paul Jones had Cannon balls for balls when he faced the enemy and said “I have not begun to fight” saying he wanted more and had more to give. That fired up the spirit of the pirates, and America, we, were (in a newly minted tradition) able to beat-the-shit-out of the British.

Which means morale goes up, and the debauchery continues.

We stole a lot of ships;

Besides John Paul Johns stealing ships, we stole some more ships;

Stole A Merchant ship,

Wounded a Midshipman, and then captured the vessel and crew.

You know, outside of a war, capturing people is called Kidnapping. (the more ya know).

“Privateers and others operating out of Machias continued to harass the Royal Navy throughout the war.”

Hell, maybe we ought to steal more ships;

Possibly, steal a lot of ships;

If you still don’t agree that American Revolution was Pirates fighting the King,

Then here is an excerpt from the History Channel;

So we Americans Stole shit
Stole ships
Fought with naval battles
Stole more shit from the Ships we won against
And even hired Privateers with their own ships and cannons

So, obviously, America was founded on piracy.

I mean, the whole ‘declaration of independence’ was basically a guilt letter to the world letting people know that they’re American insurrection/rebellion was wrong and gave sorta a fuck, but not really because they gonna do it anyway. God Bless the Founding Fathers of our Pirate Lineage.

We even gave licenses for piracy;

Privateers were pirates or people who chased money. Contracts for hire. This was just a side note to know, that privateers and pirates aren’t the same but they’re very similar. I mean, what’s the difference between muscle that wants you to pay them, and muscle that wants you to pay them?

Side note;

American Revolution fought against the Biggest Navy of the World,

And that Navy was so big they definitely relied on impressing others to join.

So of course, you had a bunch of people shouting ‘give me liberty or give me death’

Fighting a bunch of people who were kidnapped being like ‘I did not sign up for this’

Sounds like there’s a reason why the Americans won. Weird, having a righteous cause and justice on your side makes morale go up for drawn out lengthy wars. On top of people having no fucking clue about shit having to sail halfway to foreign lands and seas to get decked by people who’ve adopted Unconventional warfare like Native Americans. Weird.

Who would have thought the Rebels, or should I say, Pirates would win?

In Closing

Ultimately, Piracy is about saying ‘fuck you’ to Slavery, Oppression, and the law. That’s the whole point of being a pirate. It is because life is shit and causing a mutiny and doing what you want is better than being barked orders and being a slave to some Prancy European idiot who won’t think twice to flog ya or send you overboard.

At that point, I too would rather join pirates than keep being a slave.

It’s the most American thing you can do.

Now, that’s not to say that pirates didn’t have slaves, it’s just that they’re either victims or slaves at one point. Regardless, they are still being oppressed. Simply labeling them as ‘pirates’ is a microaggression and a form of oppression as a discrimination of a socio-economic label-caste of sea-fairing nomads, you cunt-fucker. Yes, I’m totally Politically incorrect, thank you for noticing.

The whole Somali discussion was to help show their moral situation. Obviously people don’t randomly kidnap or apprehend others on the seas without a reason. So, yea, they just want to survive and not die, while also defending their country, in a way.

It’s kinda rare to have several generations of pirates, idk, having a family and being a sailor is already a shit life. I can’t imagine having a family as an outlaw and a sailor being a great or easy thing.

I mean, I’ve never heard of a Pirate King.

That shit doesn’t get ‘recognized’ by those idiots at the UN, let alone the other cunt-trees. . .

Where ever there is too much order, there will be oppression, that leads to a revolt which breeds chaos. From Order comes chaos. Pirates aren’t the bad guys, mkay.

To be fair, I don’t know why I wrote this. Fuck, it’s just another shit post in the toilet that is this site. I guess I just want to give pirates their fair shake, and something about gold and booty. Idk. As a sailor myself, and boy, when I learned about impressment, I was pissed. I think Pirates are way more romantic than being a sea-dog that has been cucked by a government of men wearing frills and pushing papers from behind a desk.

So, uh, yea. Reiterating in case you forget,

America was founded on piracy.

That’s all,

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice

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