LEGOs, the New Gold Standard for Drugs

Word on the block is, “LEGOs are the new gold standard for Drugs”. Mintly unopened LEGOs keep the grease fresh on the lubricant of drug trade that fuels these streets.

If you’re on this website then you’re a smart investor, knowing you, you’re going to be loaded with LEGOs like a Neck-Bearded Anti-Socialite. It’s great, and you’re gonna see why.

Lego, Building, Game, Toy, Drawing, Graphics
Sweet Sweet Plastic Currency

Brief history

You see, LEGOs were made by Europeans in the 1940s and everyone knows western society likes constructs. I mean, just look at all the stuff around you, constructs. So a wooden toymaker named Ole Kirk Christiansen from Denmark started the great LEGO Building Empire. The LEGO Empire has a motto “Only the best is good enough”, a truly remarkable ethos that every society should understand. *nudge* *nudge* *wink* *wink*

LEGOs eventually got smart and started using plastic a few years later. Plastic doesn’t tend to break as much as wood or degrade over time, thereby having a sort of longevity inherent with LEGOs. The previous sentence was completely made up to sound interesting and trick you into thinking you’re learning, you’re welcome.

So these toys would target children, who later became adults that had money to buy toys for their children. Knowing that Adults are really just large children, these adults used the excuse of ‘having kids’ to buy more LEGOs for themselves. Truly sinister Adults and these so called ‘parents’.

So as the greed for LEGOs increase overtime, afflicting families world-wide, the rise of a LEGO empire was in the works. An empire that includes a LEGO amusement park, LEGO movies, even LEGO branded stores and LEGO Fashion.

The Value of LEGOs

So these tiny bags of LEGOs have inherent value in the hearts of children over time, fact. Kids want Santa to bring them LEGO sets. Duh.

LEGOs don’t really lower in value because the prices are set to match inflation. You got to make a profit somehow. Think of LEGO Corporation as like the Federal Reserve, and that they’re just another Central Bank printing out money in the form of plastic bricks.

LEGOs actually appreciate in value, they become their own form of currency floating with the US Dollar or the British Pound. In fiction, here is a graph showing LEGO exchange rate matching that of actual exchange rate.

Who knows what exchange rates mean, or what this graph is actually showing you. It’s probably the best kind of science, pseudo-science. So just take it as a nice picture with two colorful lines.

LEGO has this great idea, make it cheaper to produce more LEGOs and load each box with more LEGOs. Thereby increasing the Price by selling more pieces and lower production costs with packaging and boxing and other parts. These LEGO sets can go for $200+ dollars, so they’re quite the valuable find.

Overtime LEGOs become collectible for average enthusiasts. They have limited edition sets that increase in price. Heck, some sets can even cost 10x as much leading to a valuation of €2,500, or about 3,000 US buck-a-roos for a box of LEGOs. How about that #10179 LEGO Millennium Falcon that sold for $15,000. Nice.

There are also Mega-fans of LEGOs that build entire worlds made of LEGOs. These outstanding tinkerers can apotheosis into a GOD of mere plastic foot soldiers decorating a large vast LEGO city. The Mega-fans have collections that can easily go beyond thousands and thousands of dollars. A truly enlightened being, the pinnacle of virtue.

The LEGO Movie Will Ferrell | Turn The Right Corner
Remember, Everything is Awesome. Everything is cool when you’re playing GOD

There’s a lot of prices on LEGOs and they tend to be a safe bet. Most big sets are more expensive than an ounce of silver, and no need to verify material content or minting quality like silver. There’s plenty of data that shows LEGOs trends and prices. Yea, there is Plenty of Data.

If you’re interested in dealing with LEGOs like buying, selling, and trading LEGO sets for Cash valuation, I suggest you check out Bricklink for price lookups and Do YUeR ReSaeRCh.

So LEGOs have value, that’s the big take away here.

Stealing LEGOs

Well, if it has value, then People are gonna want to steal it. That’s like the fifth law of Thermo-dynamo-raulics or something. It’s real reactionary science so go look it up.

So people target and look for LEGOs, maybe a misguided man-child, or a hardened criminal, who the fuck am I to know? A profit can always be made from a five-finger-discount (That is a euphemism which means stealing for you lame folks).

Walmart, constantly stops people from stealing LEGO sets. If you know anyone who works near or with Walmart, you’ll know that they have constant thievery on LEGOs. That’s because the people of the streets knows that LEGOs are valuable.

Some people find opportunities, apparently this Riot thing is a lootfest 2020

The thing about LEGOs that make them good for a thief, is that they’re hard to trace. No regular-Joe gives a Rats Ass if they’re buying LEGOs from Target, Walmart, off a Hooker from the Back Alley, or a Thief off of eBay. So the thieving begins. Take for instance these Three LEGO stealing Goons or this list of thieves.

Law enforcement officers talk about the great crimes of LEGO thieves.

“There’s a ‘black’ or secondary market for everything, especially things of value, LEGOs are a hot item due to their popularity and relative cost from retail markets. Virtually untraceable––no serial numbers––and easily sold.”

-Police Sergeant Peter Simpson

People can trade LEGOs for things, and because LEGOs are hard to trace, it’s allegedly easy to fence off. Selling things on eBay or Craigslist, no-one is going to question whether their LEGOs are clean. People see 10% off and they buy. Yea, that’s right, pilfered LEGOs are American Dad’s Dirty Christmas-Birthday-Gift Secret. There is always hot demand for these items.

Silicon Valley had a Vice President of some software tech company make at least $30,000 off of LEGOs. This Tech Nerd used fake bar codes to lower the scanned value of the LEGOs. He basically stole LEGO boxes at a discounted rate and sold them on eBay.

Some people just want to play with LEGOs, but there are always Evil LEGO collectors that break and enter into people’s homes. They jack all the LEGOs and dismantle 14 years of hard work collecting, investing, and building $18,000 in LEGOs. Stealing for their selfish LEGO gains, LEGO theft isn’t a victimless crime. It’s like kicking someone’s childhood, pure Evil.

Evil like a 53-year-old Lady who stole 800 sets of the LEGOs from a collector in Long Island. She made the mistake of trying to unload her stash, street-valued at $59,000, on eBay All at once. You know, like maybe not fence off everything you stole all together? I get that what you’re carrying is hot, but are you like stupid or something?

$59,000, That’s called Grand Larceny, Homie. But I guess that’s chump change compared to;

A LEGO group that was arrested as part of a $250,000 dollar scheme that stole LEGO sets from stores. They damaged the boxes, bought a new LEGO set in cash, then went to another store and exchange the stolen set with the good receipt, getting cash back. They would then sell their Clean LEGO set online. You know, the underground world of Laundering LEGOs.

People world wide are stealing LEGOs, for obviously cash. Australian thieves used angle grinders and crowbars to steal $30,000 worth of LEGOs from four separate retailers. In England thieves have struck and ransacked LEGO trucks before the toy could even reach stores, netting about $150,000.

There are also organized Boosting Crews that shop-lift near $1Million Dollars worth of LEGOs. Talk about a Heist, all for these Colorful. Plastic. Bricks.

So we know two things:

  1. LEGOs are valuable, and
  2. LEGOs circulate on the black market (and eBay)

Drug Dealing in LEGOs

Well when you’re black market shopping near your red-light-district-alley-way like a ridiculous trope, you go through all the items to offer. You catch your eyes on a discount LEGO set and get lost thinking about your child hood.

Then a light bulb hits you.

Trade your Drugs for LEGOs. That’s right. Now for a limited time-only, Drug dealers use LEGOs as valuable commodities akin to that of gold bars. LEGO bricks and bricks of Cocaine go hand-in-hand.

It’s like snow and LEGOs were made for playing and having fun

The great thing about LEGOs as a currency, is that they appreciate in value and have inherent value. That inherent value is that you can build shit with LEGOs. So if you’re big brain, you can build nice Drug Paraphernalia like using all the Smooth Plates to make Cocaine Tables to easily snort more crack in measured amounts.

This is big brain stuff to get the fine powdery dust to fall into the cracks and crevices of your LEGO artificial construct. If you make it small, you can carry it around as a portable snort-o-matic. You know, in case the cops decide to search you, better have your LEGO cocaine set to be both a Child and a Clown.

Or use your Smart phone or tablet like a regular Plebian

Photo by Reddit u/Griff1917

If you’ve got the cast or mold, you can shape your drugs and pills into bite sized LEGO pieces. Like molly or XTC pills in the shape of a LEGO! LEGOs are an easily recognized toy, fun for both Adults, Children, and ravers.

Sometimes Drug Dealers pawn their goods using LEGO boxes as a disguise. Who would buy a LEGO set for more than it’s actually worth? An idiot or a Drug dealer. Well someone snitched $40,000 worth of Methamphetamine found in a LEGO box. Why was it in that box, who knows?

It’s not like the Cartels are posing as Toy Distributers to ferry their illegal drugs in shipments of LEGO boxes. That would be absurd and nonsensical.

Yea they wouldn’t trade in LEGOs with appreciable value and unquestionably a Toy product that no-cop would suspect for Drug-Money Laundering.

We only need to know three things:

  1. LEGOs have Value
  2. LEGOs are traded on the Black Market
  3. Drug Dealers trade on the Black Market

Update April 2, 2021

-LMAO source

In Closing

That’s right, little Timmy’s next Star Wars limited edition Deathstar LEGO set from a random online seller is indirectly helping fund the drug cartels in your backyard. I’m proud that you support local businesses, by that I mean drug dealers.

The more you buy LEGOs the more value is retained. By all means, you should buy more LEGOs so the LEGO sets appreciate. Consider it like a long investment in stocks. Pro-LEGO at No Safe Bets.

Don’t do Drugs School, stay in School Drugs, and make sure you invest at least whatever your company is matching in your 401k so you can work as a slave for 40+years of your life and then finally live how you want as old and decrepit assuming of-course that society (or you) doesn’t collapse first.

Cheers,

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice


P.S.

Here’s a meme for your troubles;

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