The magic of co-signing and all the wonderful benefits it can bring, such as: crippling debt, a plummeting credit score, defaulting on loans, and maybe if your lucky you could even go bankrupt!

So what is co-signing and why is it so detrimental to the success of your financial death? Co-signing is meant to help those with bad credit get a loan using someone else with a bit more financial stability to get that said loan under their name instead. You know, tie two financially unstable ships in a storm.

Well then you might ask what’s so wrong about that? Well, let’s say perhaps that this person with bad credit decides they want a brand new 2077 Chevy Camaroptimus prime, they would then approach someone who’s blood related or maybe even LEGALLY related to get them to do a co-sign with a promise (that they definitely aren’t going to go back on) to do the payments every time they’re due.

Now, let’s say they *GASP* LIED! Well now who’s responsible at the end of the day? Sorry to say my friend, but that sorry sonofabitch is gonna be you and get this… you won’t even have the item you paid for because it’s under their name! You got the debt and they got the 2077 Chevy Camaroptimus prime. You’ll have to track em down and fix the loan to get your new car.

No one likes extra work, and Shit-y-ly the person you cosign with can also Die. So there’s that. Now you’ve got a loan you don’t want. Fuck me, amrite?

What if this person didn’t die and was a complete and pure person (gross) with absolutely no ill willed intentions involved and actually paid their dues, no worries right? Well, even in that scenario you’re still getting fucked over, until that payment is completed it is looked at as a loan under your name which affects your credit score and ability to get future loans.

Still not bought into the idea that co-signing is a surefire way to impede your future financial endeavors? I have a couple stories that might change your mind.

Story 1

Meet Sibylla Nash with her cosigning adventures she managed to shave 200 whole points off her credit score and be a few thousand dollars in debt with a single co-sign! So who was this evil mastermind that had managed to sucker poor Sibylla Nash into meaningless debt? None other than her best friend for over 20 years, someone she considered to be like her sister.

Unfortunately, she trusted this someone to not take advantage of a corrupt practice and get some nice free big bucks out of her, so silly Sibylla did little to no research on what a co-sign actually entailed and got ruined in the end. A fairy tale ending indeed.

Also get this, the item she cosigned with her friend happened to be a house… in 2008! By the end of this whole fiasco she ended up… well… I think it’d be best if I quote use the quote from an article quoting the original article on what exactly happened;

My credit score plummeted from 800+ to the low 600s after she defaulted on her mortgage. Several credit card companies dropped me, while others lowered my credit limit to the balance due. I was embarrassed and ashamed about the multitude of letters I received from my creditors telling me they were cutting off my line of credit. Basically, I was left with no credit, no access to more credit and a horrible credit score. I was devastated, all because of my own mistakes.

-Sibylla

Her ‘friend’ at the time found out about her crippling debt and had made no comments and acted as if everything was A-Okay on her end. Yep a classic case of not understanding how easily someone can be corrupted by greed to another’s detriment. Oh, and one last piece of advice from our good friend:

I wouldn’t recommend co-signing on a stick of gum for anyone after going through this. It is more trouble than it’s worth. If the friendship has to end because your friend insists that you co-sign, at least you still have your credit.

-Sibylla

That’s right, the lesson is “fuck your stick of gum” I ain’t cosigning shit.

Fairy tale 2

Now on to our second fantastical fable from another incredibly trusting and responsible individual by the name of… well the name is undisclosed, I found the story on Reddit and there wasn’t much personal info given.

Basically, there’s this girl right, and she’s in love with this guy buuuut, he needed help to be able to apply for a student loan. You know, a typical Girl meets boy scenario. So the girl gleefully and unwittingly accepts a cosign thinking that the boy would be the one paying it off anyway so it’s no big deal, right? Guess what though, he didn’t.

The boyfriend broke up with her so now she has to pay a whopping 6000$ on some guy who doesn’t even care about her, (Apparently he did try to get her removed from the loan but no dice from the estate that gave out the loan) Nice!

She even had expectations to put a down payment on a house, however now she has to pay up so she can say bye-bye to all of the money she’s saved up over her life time. Either that or her credit goes to shit and she can’t put the down payment on the home either way. Talk about a textbook catch 22, huh.

With no other options she turned to Reddit where she got the same advice I am going to give you my valuable reader. “Don’t ever, EVER co-sign a loan”.

I’d say its time to be a loan shark and recoup those losses.

Final Fantasy 3

I have one last short story before I come to my final conclusion, and this one is actually a personal one having to do with my uncle and cousin. There’s been quite a lot of family turmoil over the years and this is just one story to add to pile, and it has to do with… you guessed it co-signing a loan but somehow it gets flipped around.

It goes down like this, my uncle wants to purchase a home, but doesn’t have the credit to do so, he then hears about this brilliant system that allows someone else to take the debt under their name and you still get the property. Since he is actively living in the home he claims he is actually making his payments on time.

Some years later, my cousin tries to claim that the property hasn’t been getting paid on time at all. He also said that he has had to make a lot of the payments to save his credit score. On top of that he claimed to have provided the initial down payment on the house.

My cousin decides to take my uncle to court under this premise. Long story short a ton of family turmoil happens, they have some calls with other uncles and aunties until they eventually come to an agreement and the house stays under my uncle’s name. All this happened because of one of the most stressful burdens you can put your family unit under, a co-sign was made on perhaps the most important purchase most Americans will ever make in their lives (Not hookers or blow, typically) a house.

In Closing

So… hopefully I’ve done an adequate job of describing why fucking yourself over with a co-sign probably isn’t the greatest idea no matter the circumstance. Listen, I understand the reasons in which one would consider to allow someone else to cosign under their name, be it you’ve known this said person for a really long time, family, best-frens, or you just know them to be incredibly responsible or honest.

No matter the reason however, it just isn’t a good idea to get involved with, even if you do have a great story on how you and the person you helped by co-signing get a great happy ending. Something like them paying off the loan on time and you getting an acknowledgement on how great of a bestie you are, it still isn’t a good practice.

It only takes one asshole to ruin you completely with absolutely no repercussions on their side whatsoever and you’re left in financial woes only you can blame your sorry ass for. If you go into a co-sign with the idea that you’re probably going to end up paying the majority, then knock your socks off and go on with that nice car your significant other wants in exchange for a couple nice BJs, but only under that circumstance.

If you’re thinking that your situation is different and nothing negative is going to happen you’re: just. wrong. and need to think heavily about the decision you are about to make since you’ll only hurt yourself and the relationships you’re in. There are reasons why the entirety of the internet tells one to stay the fuck away from these financial holes. If you’re really that desperate to to throw your money away I’d suggest throwing it randomly at some bitcoin you saw a pretty convincing get rich quick ad for, That way you actually have some hope for any amount of return and your credit score doesn’t suffer.

Hopefully now that you’re armed with this info on the great scam that is the co-sign you won’t make the mistake that will cause you to surprise Pikachu face when you end up 200 points down and $5,000+ in debt. Anyways stay safe out there kids and Godspeed ahead.

-Succarberg

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice