WTF is Money?

Look, we here like death, taxes, taxes on death, death caused by heart attacks from taxes, tax bills written by death of innocents, and innocent deaths helped to perpetuate the constant that is Tax.

We also like money. Like, like-like money. What’s the word, love? Yeah, that’s it.

We love money.

Oh, I did have an age old friend once tell me “pecunia, si uti scis, ancilla est; si nescis, domina.”

I totally forgot what he meant by it, but he’s been dead for about 2,000 years. So there’s that.

well, whatever the case, money is a lot of things. We’ll discuss the idea of money rather than the history or actuality of money. You know, the meta-physics.


Money for some, is Time.

People use money to reset the clock on their life, as well as exchange their time for money itself. How much is an hour of your life worth anyway? Minimum wage?

People can use money to buy other people’s time, to have them work for them putting in their time and energy. To serve coffee, to build houses, to do things.


People can also use money to buy drugs. . . that’ll help them live longer. If you think about it, each time a person buys insulin, its to extend a clock on their heart engine. To let their heart have a few more beats until it stops.

The same when people try to buy organs, to have a lung that expands a few more times before it stops. Or for a kidney to process a few more liquids before it stops.

Perhaps they need other drugs to survive. Heck, we might live to see the day where we need to buy water or oxygen.

Any bought “life-time” is always borrowed time.

Every meal you eat is the last meal until the next.

Every breath, is resetting a clock from death by asphyxiation.


Less morbidly, people spend money to enjoy a vacation. They use money to buy the tickets, the gas, the fees, the necessities to reach a spot on the sand somewhere in the Bahamas.

All to enjoy an exotic colita or a margarita watching the sun set for a couple of hours.

Time is money and money is time.


Money for others, is Energy.

Ever gained money? Didn’t that feel great? Maybe a loose bill in your coat pocket, or winning big at the casino. To win feels energizing, almost to an energetic state. It seems the energy gained is directly proportional to the amount you win, or lose.

Ever lost money? even if it was five dollars, did that feel bad? Did you worry about the money? Did you lose seconds or hours thinking about the money?

What if it was a bigger sum, like say 400 dollars? or 1,000? how about 40,000?

I once knew a guy who had loaned out his flashlight to a friend. The friend lost the flashlight, and the guy was cool with it. He wasn’t upset or didn’t care too much about the flashlight.

I then asked him, “how much did that flashlight cost?”.

You know, like a Dick.

He said “about 20 dollars”. I then asked him, “If you gave him 20 dollars and he decided not to pay it back, wouldn’t you be upset?”

That immediately changed the way he saw things. All the sudden, he wanted his flashlight back. Weird.


Sometimes Time is Money, sometimes Money is Time.

Money for few, is Water.

Think about it, you have money going into and out of your account. People call is cash flow. Because cash flows. What else flows? Water.

Not convinced? How about when you want to sell all of your assets? That’s called liquidation. Your accessible capital is liquid capital. Hard assets are illiquid.

Where do you store your money? In a bank, like a river bank or a bank of water.

Water has a current and large amounts are referred to as a sea. A current-sea, Money is currency.

It’s like you can cash in a rainy day check.

If you know that money is water, then you can apply the uses of money much like the uses of water.

“Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash.” -Bruce Lee

Basically If you throw money in a hole, it takes the shape of the hole. That’s why they’re called money holes. DUH.

Throw money at a car, you upgrade and repair the car. It’s almost like money is this magical source of energy that makes things change and transform.


Throw enough money at a problem, and it’ll go away.

Nothing to eat? If that’s a problem,

Throw money at it.

Want to get into a good college?

Throw money at it.

Have problems getting laid?

Throw money at it.

Have problems being poor? You guessed it,

Throw money at it!

In truth, if you do want to get out of being poor then you’ll have to throw what little money you have towards things that will get you more money. Rich people call this ROI or Return on Investment, I think. As silly as it sounds, it’s true.


In Closing

I cracked out my old Ouija board and I asked about that whole “pecunia, si uti scis, ancilla est; si nescis, domina” thing. Apparently it’s Latin for:

“if you know how to use money, money is your slave; if you don’t, money is your master.”

That’s a basic understanding of WTF money is. Remember this is

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice.

 

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