Ambulance Insurance

In some land far far away, Ambulances were covered by things mystical things called Taxes.

Nowadays, Hospitals contract out to private contractors that happened to own ambulances and they race to get to you in the fierce competition of capitalism, all to charge you a nice bill that you can’t refuse, even if your insurance isn’t good for it.

God Bless America,

Now you can Bless America even harder by paying for insurance that collectively probably doesn’t insure you of shit.

Yes, you can buy an additional insurance for ambulance rides! Don’t you know? Everything is transitioning to a rent-to-own and a pay-as-you-play to include insurafying every-gótt-damn-thing in the ‘modern world’. Before you know it, we’ll be doing partial insurance on your life for every half second you breath, it’s termed for your customer satisfaction.

Yea, you’ll own nothing and be -broke as shit.

Yes, people are literally-
selling Wam-bu-lance Insurance

Don’t worry, if you got health insurance, I’m sure you can have the two insurance companies fight it out like two Lesbians trying to split the bill at a restaurant. You know, Comical.

Or like mommy and daddy dividing up the Cabbage Patch kids in a Divorce. You know, Heart Wrenching.

In the end, you’ll have two companies “””insure””” you and still have a high as fuck deductible. Because what’s the point of insurance if you actually have to use it? Rookie mistake thinking you’ll actually use or need insurance.

Yea, so, High Deductibles. You know, the things that you pay for before the insurance actually touches the bill. Turns out, you buy the insurance yet you’re the one deducting the payments before the insurance company actually pays. It’s like you’re insuring the investment that the insurance company is making in you but with your money. So you’re essentially insurance for the insurance in the event that they have to pay anything. . . Pay anything like, well let’s just say, you.

Weird, I wonder how people financially cucked themselves into thinking that’s a good idea.

So this Insurance exists,

And the idea behind this insurance is to cover the deductibles for Ambulance rides that your Health Insurance doesn’t cover. Or better yet, refuses to cover.

This Ambulance Insurance will only play out to have different coverages and copays on top of the silly deductible. I mean, is there a deductible before the deductible is deducted from the actual Health Insurance?

What exactly does Ambulance insurance cover?

The actual ride? The actual Services? Actual Health Care? Just the Deductible? Or does it just cover the Care of the Drivers will to live on minimum wage?

Is this not another puppet company provided by the Health Insurance Companies to justify not covering Ambulance rides and mentioning that Ambulance rides aren’t a part of their package? Extorting patients to get more insurance for the already lacking coverage of insurance? That even if people get said coverage, they won’t actually be covered?

What about being a ‘preferred’ customer or a PRIME member? How many brackets of customer-ship is there?

Does your plan cover gas? What about Mileage fees? If you run out of either, does the Ambulance drop you off and say ‘tough luck’?

Did you sign up for the platinum package? What’s your Membership number? Did you sign up for Pregnancies or only Trauma?

Did you get the speed up extension, bonus Downloadable content? You know, so your Ambulance can speed past the Insurance mandated Governor of 35mph. What about the ignoring-Red-lights payment plan?

I’m obviously being bleak and facetious, but that’s because people are paying their bottom penny to ride in a life-saving clown car pulled together by social agreements we somehow call ‘money’. All of this to hope that they get saved but end up emotionally, financially and psychologically stressed to the point of real damage that would’ve been more of a mercy to let them bleed out.

People literally commit suicide over debt, and I’d bet a pretty penny that the hospital debt is up there in the top three types of debt related suicide. Call it the Big Three of Debt suicides.

I’m also here to tell you not to worry about things like “debt”, -money isn’t real, Duh. Killing yourself is pointless when you’re already going to die. Just enjoy life and finish reading this article. You cunt.


I’ve wrote recently about how our world is very similar, if not worse, than an actual Cyber Punk Dystopia. I didn’t think I would have to bring it up so soon, but that’s just how life works I guess.

Here’s a fictional take of a similar EMS insurance, from the CyberPunk 2077 universe, the Trauma Team;

“Seven minutes or a refund. That’s the Trauma Team guarantee – the type of guarantee that warms a policy holder’s heart as they begin to bleed out in an alley. Assuming you haven’t lost consciousness from blood loss, don’t worry as you count the seconds of life slipping from you, because help is on the way. First, you’ll see a heavily armored AV descend from the sky, using its heavy machine gun turrets to mow down the bastards who are trying to kill you. Then you’ll see the medics, your guardian angels clad in green and white and armed to the teeth. And once the Trauma Team staff puts you back to together, you’ll get the bill for your copay. It may have a long list of zeros attached to it, but you’ll still sign up for a half-year policy extension with a smile on your lips.

Trauma Team provides medical, paramedical and extraction services in all of the world’s major cities. Their services are highly respected and sought after by those who can afford them. In fact, this may be the only corporation that enjoys such a high level of public trust. They don’t play politics, they don’t ask questions. As long as you pay your dues, your life is safe in their hands – no matter how dire the situation.”

-Cyber Punk 2077, the Video Game
Yea, Just what the Doctor ordered
A full clip of lead for the bastards that made you use insurance
-Dirty, dirty, insurance

Lead bullets are like anti-zombie pills,
Two a day, keeps the dead at bay

Also, I’m not a real Doctor

Maybe in the future we’ll have Police and EMS tied together and hired out like private contractor mercenary corps. I mean, a Mercenary Corp is a Corp-oration, right? And it’s not like the Police already favor property owners and tax collectors- I mean, cops are already basically private contractors. Hell, if you’re special, you even get a direct or ‘preferred’ customer line with the police. It’s pretty nifty.

So the only thing you have to Imagine, is if the Cops also had to apply more than first aid and extract you (I know, big ask for having such a large imagination to think Cops would provide more care for you). It’s like the combination of first responders (minus Fire fighters) and also a nice hefty bill. It’s your money or you life, welcome to America’s Sick Care system.

Oh, also, Real Trauma Teams go for around $10,000 upwards. The nice ones will run you a lot more.

But that’s also using old numbers from like 2015 and not really factoring inflation.

So the average cost of a Trauma Team in Real World US of A is probably around 20k to 100k+ because

Exceptional Care requires Exceptional Pay.

-Brought to you by Corpos, where we’ll cut quality for increase profits.

In Closing,

“It’s your money or your life.”

That’s the same motto that Highway men use(d), and now it’s the motto of the American Health Sick Care system.

And don’t catch yourself being poor, that’s apparently a sin and the punishment is death from preventable causes.

Health insurance doesn’t really cover shit and you end up dying anyway. Well, atleast, in my opinion.

The dying part has been true though, that’s not my opinion.

So having Ambulance insurance to cover Health insurance kind of defeats the whole purpose and ‘need’ of insurance.

What’s the point of having insurance for insurance? Are we just insuring ourselves in a recursive rabbit hole of insurance pyramid schemes? It’s like having a Dog be a dogsitter for another dog. What the fuck are we doing?

Yea, so health insurance covers so much that you need insurance for the parts that it doesn’t cover.

Let that sink in.

What a Scam.

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice


Here are some comments I found with regards to a reddit Thread about the whole ordeal,

Here’s another discussion about Ambulance Rates;

Where they charge a lot but don’t maintain their ‘life saving equipment’

God Bless, Murica

Here’s another discussion about EMT wages;


Also as a side note, there’s this thing called ‘shared strife’

Where people will bond over their suffering.

It’s the whole “misery loves company” type deal but with ‘modern science’ and not just a self evident aphorism.

Anyways, there’s a bunch of people online getting fucked or know of getting fucked by Ambulance systems.

Hell, even the EMTs are making bare minimum wage. They’re getting fucked while saving lives.

Fuck, I even knew a guy that owned an Ambulance company, and let me tell you, that guy was getting fucked by the Insurance Companies. Ontop of the licensing and paperwork for the governments and even the Hospital giving you a dry tug -no lube. And ontop of business, malpractice, and vehicle maintenance and related insurance. (Obviously For a company to be in business they have to be making money, so there’s probably some Rich Ambulance Companies out there.)

So, yea, I’m here to say that the system is fucked and that Insurance Companies are fuckers too. Idk man, I just really despise insurance, mainly because for them to maximize profits in a Corporate setting, they have to lower the quality of service. Meaning people are getting fucked, pound over pound getting pound while losing Pounds Sterling.

And I haven’t even talked about the shitty people that make money from Frauding the Ambulance Companies or frauding insurance companies.

Hell, everyone is fucked and doing the fucking.

That’s probably why the whole system is fucked.

Whatever, I’m done. End. Rant.

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