Public Parking Meters are a scam

Alright, so you pay taxes to the city or municipality or county or state or whatever.

Yea, all these property, state, estate, sales, tolls, sin, etc. taxes.

And then the Government is supposed to provide good roads and parking.

Hell, you even register your vehicle which is a vehicle tax if you think about it. You even have to pay to update your registration and title and such.

So on public roads, the government establishes public parking spaces. That’s when things start going downhill (to capitol hill even). Here’s where we over-bureaucratically make existential questions on the intelligence and need for politicians/zoning/city council.

Public parking is so public, you gotta pay for it

I mean, besides me mentioning that you probably are already paying for it-

The government is looking to implement some money making options afforded to them so they don’t have to rebalance the budget, so now they install parking meters from some shifty vendor that goes door-to-door between local government-to-government to upsell them on ‘corporate profits’ disguised as ‘fines, fees, and tax revenue’ from their beloved parking meters.

Yes, you’re now paying to use a parking service that was once provided for via the taxes you used to (and probably still) pay. So ‘public parking’ is actually private parking made through the virtue of having to pay for it. A Pay wall is a wall, so it’s private.

Congratulations government.

Local municipalities will have parking meters, that the locals will avoid thereby driving down revenue and interaction of the businesses downtown. So we get a lot of dying towns choking themselves out and ask why the towns are dying. Well, atleast for small towns.

For bigger towns and cities, there are entire dedicated parking enforcement infrastructure and auxiliaries assigned to issue tickets and such. So even the cities are paying out the ass to enforce people to pay for something they already paid for.

Oh, but the govy ain’t trying to make measly quarters from your hour or so of business to keep the flow of traffic normal. No, instead they want to make sure they profit from people NOT paying their parking meters.

Ever wonder why the ticket for improper parking ranges from $25 to even $200+?

Let see, 25 cents to $25 is about a 10,000% mark up, and to go to even $250 is a 100,000% mark up. Isn’t that a bit excessive for what is argued to be ‘spare change’ and already a public parking spot?

Wouldn’t it make more sense to issue a ticket that would reasonably cover the cost of enforcing the ticket (minus the bloated enforcement infrastructure)? Or issue a penalty that costs about a day’s worth of parking? Why the huge upcharge?

With inflation nowadays, many places are charging more and more like $2 an hour. I imagine larger cities are beyond that. Well, in fact Seattle has spots for $25 an hour.

Old parking meters used to take dimes and some even took nickels. We’re going from that to quarters to even plastic. What kind of monetary-inflating precedence are we establishing? What is the future of parking? Are we going to have people pay a grand-an-hour for a parking spot?

People are already dropping 70k for real estate land for specifically parking spots in Seattle. Even more for parking spots in NYC and DC. Other people pay monthly for parking spots in most major cities, ranging from $100 plus that’s not included in their lease because -What the fuck are we doing with our lives?

Also, the thought of actually having to estimate the time that you’ll be in a spot and hope you guessed right or at least are afforded the opportunity to refeed your meter if you under shoot your estimate, means that you have to do mental gymnastics for some metal lollipop on the side of the road. Is this what we called a civilized society?

You know how I know the city/government would rather issue more fines?

(They would issue more fines rather than make more parking spots, or at least more free parking)

Because it’s illegal to put coins in other people’s parking meters.

If the city really cared about you parking and paying a small fee for use, then people could easily just deposit coins in the meter and help people out. The city wins by getting it’s chump change, everyone’s honest, and it’s a win-win for all.

That is of course if the City intended to make money from only having parking meters.

Instead, cities and governments make it illegal to insert coins into other people’s parking meters. Meaning that the city would rather have a parking meter expire to fine someone for overstaying their parking, than for a Good Samaritan to pay the city it’s “alleged” wanted due of a few measly cents.

In some places, refeeding a meter at all is illegal. This means that you can’t add more time to your own meter either.

So that two hour or whatever limit on your parking is enforced. Yup, they don’t want anyone to privatize their own parking spot by capitalizing on it and camping in the same spot and refeeding a meter. How dare someone think that the best use of their time is to extend their stay every two hours by shoveling coins into a fucking box.

Some places give you a timed ticket.

Some shits don’t even work.

Even if you wanted to give the meter your money, it’s like the universe is out to get you and these shitty parking meters are merely a test of your patience in the divine comedy of you suffering-to-find-a-parking-spot.

Most meters are shit, and they have shitty options with broken buttons that make it impossible to pay for what you need. Some meters are designed only to add time and not take it away, so you can’t just swipe your card and add a specified amount in increments that you need.

This really applies to the shitty digital meters that give you the option to ‘add an hour’ or ‘add max time’, but also make their ‘add an hour’ button broken so you can only ‘add max time’.

Do you risk finding another meter? Is it safe to park? Did you waste your time fighting for a “bad” parking spot merely because the government can’t collect it’s ‘economic-parking-rents’?

All of this added temporal stress makes people either commit to a bad decision or rush and miss some key details on parking arrangements and informational signs leading to a ‘improper’ parking situation. Resulting in people paying money due to common misconceptions or even convoluted statutes on parking.

On top of that, towing is a thing

If you derelict your vehicle or park for too long by even a second and someone is wanting that spot badly enough. A Tow truck might come to impound your vehicle.

Now you gotta pay to get your vehicle out and you gotta pay the Tow Company too -on top of a parking ticket because -duh-.

They might put a boot, or several, on your vehicle. Then ask you to pay to remove one or all the boots. It’s like DLC for your video games, think a mix of GTA with Need For Speed where each tire is ‘extra’ content.

Which of course, all of this happens while the government has arranged some sort of kickback to profit when there is more things being towed. It’s just good business. So the government actually becomes incentivized to not provide you parking. This is all to perpetuate the suffering of parking-related frustrations.

And most of the fines and fees might lead to a court date, so if you fuck up badly enough then you get a criminal record for what could’ve been the difference in a couple of spare change. Yea, so be happy that you get to support the Prison Slave Labor system all for a buck fifty or some shit.

I mean, you don’t need to hear it from me. But the system isn’t your friend.

And most City Council or politician also hates parking meters and such, that’s why they strictly ensure their own parking spots for their place of work. That doesn’t stop them from having parking issues outside of their occupational parking spot. You know, when they decide to actually enjoy their city that they are supposed to look after.

So, at least enjoy the fact that everyone suffers in this madness.

What’s worse, Meter Maids Lives matter

Have you ever seen a Parking Meter enforcer? those ‘meter maids’?

On average, Those guys/gals hate their lives.

They have to deal with issuing citations and fines for the city while being paid shit, and then they deliver ‘bad news’ in the form of those ‘fines’ to people, resulting in the Parking Meter Enforcers being berated and deal with angry ‘customers’.

How would you feel if you had to deliver pieces of paper all day and people respond with either swearing and cursing you out or begging about losing their ability to buy groceries at the end of the week?

-Literally most people

From the perspective of a meter maid, you have to sort of write that ticket and dash so you get zero confrontation and also avoid the fucking sun. It’s like meter ninja, but not fun, and everyone is depressed and losses.

The person getting the ticket loses, the person writing the ticket feels bad, the city loses on parking infrastructure and enforcement, Cops and the like aren’t even stopping real crimes, and some third party private company is reaping in profits. So I guess not everyone loses.

Like is society advanced so much that parking infractions and fines for statute violations are considered ‘crimes’? If so, then we’ve evolved ass backwards. Isn’t there like war crimes we should be fighting? Literal murder? What about that whole island full of sex offenders? Aren’t there more important things than -idk- a parking fine worth two minutes or two dollars? (This whole public order and society thing is a real scam)

In all, I don’t think there is a happy Parking Meter Enforcer. A happy Meter Maid is either a fucking unicorn (rare) or a sadistic twisted fuck. Hell, maybe both. Probably both, actually.

They probably have a quota they have to meet or else they get ‘written up’ and get ‘fired’ and such. So their happiness at work is directly proportional to delivering unhappiness to other people. Meter maids are miserable, so I guess it’s true that Misery enjoys company.

I doubt they even feel good or noble about their duties and responsibilities. I know I wouldn’t.

Almost everyone in the world hates them.

So obviously, it’s natural that they’d hate themselves too. That’s how logic works my guy.

This profession of being a ‘meter maid’ is ignoble, bad for society, and overall bad for health to include mental health. If society did away with parking meters and meter maids, it would be a net good for society. I think.

Meter maids in general is a bullshit job. Most fines and fees and statutes are bullshit, but that’s another story.

Hell you could even pay people to be chauffer’s and park cars and trade-em as a better business idea that would provide a net benefit for society. Literally concierge services to park in a parking structure.

Do we really want more cities like Chicago?

I’m talking about the City of Chicago that sold all the rights to the parking meters to a Private Company in 2008.

That’s right, those publicly Tax payer funded parking spots with parking meters, they are now privatized. On top of that, private entities can also issue parking tickets. You know, like any shitty university parking enforcement group. On top of that, the courts and police will enforce these private companies’ parking tickets because of this government contract (city but yea).

Don’t worry, in under 20 years, the Private company has already recouped their ‘1.1 billion dollar’ investment for that contract.

Yup, so the money that could be going towards the city in parking related things, is also not going towards the city. Which means the city is bleeding money. It’s alright though, Chicago is at least in the leaderboards for gun violence.

Oh, if anything obstructs the parking meters by construction or anything city related, then you bet your ass that the private company will be paid for that lost revenue and some change. Which means that the City of Chicago has to pay a private company to work on their roads. Like literally every time. Because there’s parking meters literally everywhere.

So this is a perfect example of what not to do if you have a parking meter. system

And judging by a lot of shit going on in the world, this is a very common practice. (look at Indianapolis and some other places and bumfuck small towns. If the DOT isn’t handling it, then it’s probably some public-private hand jibber kick back scheme for some rich friends).

While we’re at it, Don’t be like Hawaii;

They (Hawaii) have literal Parking Meters for non-parking things like public basketball courts and tennis courts at public parks.

I could understand -maybe- if it was a private arrangement, but public facilities paid by public monies, being metered? Yea, go fuck yourself -rainbow- state.

Anything public that is metered is just you paying for the privilege to be a John Q Public. (which means none of this shit is public).

here’s a palate cleanser before we close;

This will help cleanse your palate by making you see what I see in terms of how Funn-ey all of this is.

This is just for laughs, because it goes to show how stupid things can get. And technically, things are already that stupid, in Belgium.

It’s probably Egalitarianially stupid everywhere else.

You can almost bet on it.

In Closing

With parking meters on public parking, you’re paying for shit you already paid for. What is this, more property tax? Charity? What kind of backwards economy is this?

I didn’t go into the statistics or math on anything from budget deficits for enforced parking or meter maid suicide rates or anything. I just don’t care enough to substantiate my feelings. Because the fact of Public Parking Meters being a scam is a fact backed by my feelings and infuriation with getting tickets and dealing with Parking Meters. They are almost as bad as ink Printers.

Anything metered is probably shitty.

Anything Public is probably shitty.

Anything Public and metered is doubly shitty.

Anything Public being metered isn’t Public.

Thus, any Public Parking Meter is a Scam.

And they’re unethical because I said so.

As always with the warmest regards from the warmth of your local dumpster fire,

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice

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