Do not Trust Coinbase with your money.

Turns out, a lot of users are having issues, which leads me to believe that Coinbase is either incompetent, negligent, malicious, or a combination of all of the above. Then their customer support is slow or shitty or something and people have gotten burned and lost a lot of money.

So, Putting money in Coinbase is probably a scam at this point.

These are all anecdotal reports from very upsetti people on the internet, it’s very unlikely that ALL of them are bots. Aaaaand, there is legal action and federal reporting down below.

So buckle up you stupid Ape!

Here’s a post from a Reddit User;

This Guy/Gal/Attack_Helicopter;

Posted this

And here is the thread, just in case it’s deleted;

Please look at my post history to know that this isn’t some scam or a lie. I made an investment on coinbase in March 2020 when BTC fell to a year low. I had just started using coinbase and practically everything I had purchased at that time in March went up in value and I moved most of it into vaults that Coinbase said was the equivalent of using a cold storage wallet. I never had an issue and had encouraged people to use Coinbase as it had always been a very easy to use platform and up until recently, seemed very secure.

On May 7th my account was breached and all my altcoins and .5 of BTC that were not stored in vaults were then converted into Bitcoin and transferred to a scammers wallet without my consent. This all happened while I was logged into my devices. I had never accessed my account from an untrusted device. I also had 2fa set up on my phone for my coinbase account. Coinbase should have seen a foreign IP address and flagged this suspicious activity. Numerous transactions occurred while I tried to disable my account, which is where I am left now, with (at the time of market) nearly $90k worth of crypto frozen/disabled with no support from Coinbase. I receive the same generic messages everyone on Reddit has mentioned. An “account specialist” is looking at my case, and they will reach back to me in 4-5 days.

3 weeks later and Coinbase is proving what a fraudulent company they are. Please, if you have funds on Coinbase, remove them. I regretfully told my parents to start using Coinbase as well, after the financial success I was having, and now have to help them close out their account for fear the same thing will happen to them. After waiting 30 days for Coinbase support to help a customer in need, I cannot trust them to do the right thing anymore. I even had a “coinbase mod” reach out to me on Reddit, so they can give the impression they care about their customers on social media. They did absolutely nothing. And if they cared at all about you, they wouldn’t make you jump through hoops to get help. Coinbase does not care about you.

My only saving grace is that I originally started buying crypto on RH (NOT COINBASE) and have a sizeable amount of DOGE still in my account. I never thought my DOGE investment would be worth as much as my BTC investment, but here we are.

I should also warn anybody that goes on Reddit not to give any information relating your wallet address or coinbase account info to anyone. I was flooded by so many scammers trying to get my information after posting about a theft, I had to stay off Reddit for a while. So if you are a scammer with that intention, anticipate me ignoring and blocking you.

I’ll also add that before people start telling me,,,” not your keys not your crypto”..yea sure.. to an extent you’re right. I should have been more careful with the funds that were not stored in a vault and we’re just in a wallet on my account. But Coinbase offers a service and with that service they need to protect their consumers which they take no responsibility in doing so. On top of that, they offer STORAGE services on their exchange which undeniably makes them responsible for the funds they have stored on their exchange. At the very minimum in my time of need when my account was breached and I needed help, Coinbase was not there, and that alone should be enough for you to stay away from this company.

Prior to writing this, I had just received for the third time, a response from Coinbase telling me an account specialist is looking into my case. Tomorrow morning, I will be filing a police report with our family attorney, and hopefully give Reddit users some clarity as to what you can do if you become a victim to Coinbase.

Edit: case # XXXXXXXXX

Also I just really want to say thank you to everyone that has taken the time to comment, especially to those that left me an award. Every up vote, award, and comment really has helped get this post more visible and I truly appreciate it. I’ll be filing the report in a few hours and I’ll let you know how it goes.

Thanks again and if anyone is reaching out to you in a DM that seems unusual, be skeptical, and don’t trust anyone. There’s a good chance it is a scammer looking for your info. There is massive amounts of scammers here and all over related to Coinbase. This is largely from their lack of support.


And some of this user’s comments are pretty spicy, which I find remarkably passionate and with great fervor. Because money and emotions are practically the same thing, or at least from what I’ve seen in people. Lmao, ever lost money? Shit will get you heated for real.

Some other people were similarly effected;

Here’s another user;

Following the comments and going about, it appears that;

Coinbase is Locking out Users from their Money

So apparently Coinbase is LOCKING OUT USERS from their own accounts. The accounts have the user’s money. So Coinbase is freezing people’s access to their money. Sounds about right.

So someone is contacting a real reporter to get the inside scoop on Coinbase. This user is alleging that they don’t have customer support while also being spammed by Coin base saying the ‘issue has been solved’. We’ll dig that up a bit later, so let’s keep that concern in mind.

More Locked out accounts

The person above tried contacting NY Times to write a piece, lmao.

But this Same person, Karin 1705 had more to say in another post;

-rough, I can’t imagine writing someone 50 times

Anyways, here’s more people locked out;

More Users are Upsetti spaghetti

Some accounts are ‘disabled’ which I assume is the same as being ‘locked out’ but the verbiage just slaps different. Naw mean?

Now the FBI is informed of some Cyber Crime, welcome to Cyber Punk 20777
where your money is stolen through internet bean coins. God Bless the Future.

So people are getting what?

Locked out of their accounts. Rough.

Oh, this is also a real thing. Why do I know that? Well, because people are taking Coinbase to Court over it. And you wouldn’t normally do that unless you have the truth on your side, lost money, or spiteful, or some other combination of the above or something.


-Just found out this gold gem existed and I’m laughing greatly

People are even taking to actually using the government to fix this. Lmao;

Snitch to the FDIC. Might as well do consumer protection while you’re at it, lol

Apparently Coinbase doesn’t Clear it’s Coin Transfers

That’s not very Based if you ask me.

Besides the aforementioned above comments, this user here also is afraid of moving their coins from Coinbase.

They are afraid, like a battered and abused spouse, from taking THEIR OWN MONEY. Imagine being afraid of moving your own money; and then be given advice from internet strangers on how to do it.

Look, idk about you, but assuming that this is genuine fear, you should definitely not trust Coinbase with your money.

Definitely, Not.

In fact, I can guarantee a negative 100% return if you give me your money. Guaranteed. There’s no need to be fearful or afraid, it’s your money until you move it into my account. See, you can trust me more than Coinbase.

And that’s kind of a problem.

Mainly because;

People lose money with Coinbase

Well, so that person was afraid of cashing out of Coinbase, because they were afraid of losing their money. Why would that be a problem? Well, because, Exhibit A;

X-hibit B;

And if you want to see more exhibits, just scroll up or down and you’ll notice that most every account or comment here is about someone losing money.

*If Pimp my Ride was about losing money to Coinbase*

Let’s look at Twitter,

So I did the most investigative journalistic thing in the world, you see, the new meta is typing Key Phrases in Not Google’s Search Bar. But instead, Twitter’s Search Bar!

And All I did (like a real journalist that sucks rancid dick) was type in ‘Coinbase Scam’ and I got a bunch of relevant juicy results. So here are my findings from all of that HARD WORK. You’re fucking welcome for my service, I’m a god damn American Hero.

-A month
-Three months

Let’s focus on the common denominator in those above tweets; their Customer Support. Which is going to sound awkward because;

So, they might not have Customer Support

This Twitter account exists;

Which has a canned response;

Here’s a search result with “Hello there, thank you for reaching out. A member of our support team has reached out to you via DM.

I don’t really blame them for a canned response.
But if you don’t actually follow up, it’s better not having any response in my estimations.
I’d rather be left ‘on read’, lmao

Yet many people are facing issues still;

And even more people have difficulty getting in contact with support;

Another example;

And if you want more examples, just read from the top. Lmao.

Rumors of Liquidity issues

So, Coinbase recently had an IPO on April 14, 2021 that was successful or whatever. They were able to get a valuation of about $330 per share for a market cap of about $69 Billion.

The point of an IPO is to raise capital, which is great if you’re poor as fuck. Which means they Could have had liquidity issues. This is, of course, speculation.

Sadly, the crypto market has been pretty rough these last few months, and Coinbase has fallen from grace to about $221 per share for a market cap of about $46 Billion.

I mean, they recently added Tether. Which I know for a FACT is a liquidity eating machine monster of Crypto-Fiat. So if Coinbase doesn’t have liquidity issues, then it definitely will.

After adding Tether, Coinbase takes a nice DIP;

To which leads to issues from losing some market value;

So to reiterate, Coinbase accepts deposits, but then flag accounts for withdrawals.

Sounds like liquidity issues.

I mean, I’m not a Sooth Sayer, just an idiot who can connect really big fucking dots. And the dots say that Coinbase is probably having Liquidity issues.

Remember all those people I mentioned having the problem of Transferring their money out and being AFRAID? Well turns out, that’s probably because there might be liquidity issues;

-Huh, I wonder what the fuck is going on.

Lmao, Clown world. I’m gonna say it again, because I’m starting to like the way it rolls off my mental tongue. “Liquidity Issues”.

This shit rolls right off the tongue, ngl it mf’in slaps;

Yet they’ve had these issues three years ago, long before an IPO;

Here’s a post from 2017;

So what do these issues show us from 2017?

Mainly that the problem runs deep and around about this time (2017) is when it started-ish with the documentation of these posts;

Just go to the thread and read if you want to learn more about stupid long delays for withdrawals from Coinbase.

So Coinbase isn’t to be Trusted with money, and they haven’t been since 2017. That’s my take away, idk about yours.

The Future BitCoin 401k;

So recently, it has come to my attention that a new company is going to offer 401(k) plans that invest or allocate funds into bitcoin using Coinbase.

This will lock up your money to internet Bean coins with a Broker that will probably lose your money. Or atleast lock you out. Imagine retiring and trying to get any of your money, it’s gonna be fucking rough. BET.

AAAAAand, let’s remember that Coinbase uses Tether. So Tether is going to eat up liquidity as you pretend to think that your life savings is ‘okay’, ‘safe’, and ‘diversified’ all because you bought some Bitcoin through a shitty platform.

No offense to the intermediaries outside of Coinbase like ForUsAll Inc.

This sadly, will integrate the big issues of Coinbase further with the Capital Markets and Consumer Markets. So it’s a good move on Coinbase to fight off liquidity issues and stay afloat, but it’s a nightmare for anyone trying to actually save money. All this does it makes your every day people foot the bill, just like how they stuffed Junk Bonds set to collapse in the People’s 401(k)s in 2008.

This undoubtedly means users will be screwed in the future.

Probably around the time the first round of checks actually have to pay out, but we’ll see.

Here are some Youtube videos to also stave off the reading depression;

Here are some side reads because you shouldn’t trust me;

This article before it’s IPO;

The reviews are fire;

After reading some of those negative reviews, Which were Fire as Fuck, I went and looked for more review sites lmao:

Site Jabber Reviews;

Better Business Bureau;

Post Edit 18 June 2021, how to get your money;

If you put money in Coinbase for whatever reason, and aren’t allowed to withdraw, then you have some options.

This user had a large sum locked up in limbo;

But was able to get it back following these steps,

So if you decided to work with Coinbase, this is some thing that you could attempt.

In Closing

This is your money;

And this is your money on Heroin;

I also understand that there are scammers that hack into people’s accounts through social engineering and email phishing. I just ignored covering that, mainly because I believe Coinbase is the Hacker themselves. But I don’t have solid evidence to pin them as the Hackers, other than they have your Email, your 2FA, and they can arguably lie and say they have a ‘data leak’ or ‘data breach’ and give hackers access to the most insecure system I’ve ever seen. This would result in you losing all your money, and from the looks of it, Coinbase Doesn’t Freeze foreign or suspicious activity. So it very likely seems that Coinbase is behind Targeting THEIR OWN Customer base and STEALING THEIR CRYPTO. But of course, I don’t have solid evidence, so this is all speculation.

Speculation from me, because I had a Coinbase account with NO COINS (because I was too lazy to put any money in it) and I’m glad I didn’t do anything, because Hackers were able to spoof and fish my data and info using a fake Sim Card to emulate my phone and use my throwaway email to easily reset my Coinbase account to Steal a whopping 0 coins.

Which pissed me off, because I had to go to the phone store SEVERAL times to get a new SIM card for each spoof attempt. I might as well buy burners while I’m at it, for fuck sakes.

This prompted me to remove my personal information on Coinbase and also delete my Coinbase account. Which then resulted in no-more-issues. So, coincidence? Maybe. Seems sus.

To be honest, I trust Robinhood Crypto more than Coinbase. Which is really saying something, because I definitely don’t trust Robinhood Crypto or Robinhood.

Sooooo, I might be in the market to be a Short Gay-bear to a certain recently IPO’d Stock because I believe there is gonna be issues in resolving it as a Ponzi Scheme with liquidity issues.

Which Stock? Idk, maybe one that is related to all of this. A stock that is most definitely not BASED. Yea, It’s not even listed in the directory of the Based Department. Trust me, I check on my Dunch Breaks (dinner+lunch = Dunch).

Hey, I’m the kind of ass hole that puts my money where my mouth is, especially after it’s swiped through a Stripper’s Money Maker. So yea, let’s fucking bet;

Because I know that you know, and you know that I know that there are;

No Safe Bets

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice

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