I get it, you’re probably thinking “am I the one that settled?” and you want to know if the marriage is (or was) the right choice. You know, because you don’t really care about your partner, just the vested interest of your financial backing to buy Becky supplies or degenerate away in a closet with Anime dolls.

Well something something, children, words, god, and something religion. Marriage is a thing. And like most things, people can screw up. And assuming you’re a person, then you’re a people too.

So by that logic, you are entitled to my best Trash-Tier Advice, unsolicited, for free.

My best advice

You should at least have 2 or 3 divorces under your belt, That way you have quite the wedding experience. I mean, how many times do people get married? Like what, once in their life?

Yea, those are rookie numbers, gotta bump them up.

Hell, some losers don’t even get married at all. They must love themselves or something to be able to die alone in this world.

Honestly

How do you expect to get something right on your first try? How many times did that work throughout your life? Especially when the stakes are high, like idk, something that’s supposed to last the rest-of-your-life?

Doesn’t seem like you practiced this whole monogamy thing properly.

In fact, if you’re feeling ballsy, try some polygamy. Yeah, go ahead and marry multiple people, that way you get the experience all at once. Think of it like power lifting, but with multiple partners.

This will be a sure fire hit to a successful marriage in the future. All it boils down to is experience.

A divorce seems bad, but I’ll enlighten you a bit.

You could get rich

Some of the Greatest people (some how men) are divorced or have at one point in their life.

Look at Mi Lorde Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie (something not Bezos anymore)

She married Jeff Bezos and Amazon took off. They then divorced and Mac-lady got a nice chunk of money from it all. Her net worth at the 2019 divorce was like $40 million dollars.

Jeff on the other hand, stuck with himself, and his company sky rocketed in valuation. So poor old MacKenzie missed out. Jeff-boy got to keep like 75% of his shares in his company, and then the stock went to $3000+ a share as of 2020. . . So Jeff is the world’s richest man at a net worth of +$180 Billion dollars.

All thanks to his divorce, no doubt.

Mackenzie went on to have a net worth of +$60 billion dollaaaahs. The World’s richest woman.

See, so a divorce is profitable for both people. That’s a big takeaway here, that divorces are great for a functioning society.

They get a split of the money, and then they keep working harder and hardly to prove the other person wrong. Or something. Which didn’t happen in this case, but you get my drift.

Heck, that means getting several divorces is money in the pocket, right?

Look at Lord Elon Musk;

His first divorce was in 2008, then he got married to some other chick and divorced in 2012, then remarried that same chick to see if he liked the taste of strawberries or something. He didn’t, so then he divorced that lady in 2016.

So Lord Elon got three divorces and he is coming pretty close to the world’s richest spot, with Tesla going to the moon as a +$500 billion dollar company, and his other companies doing well. Elon Tusks is sitting at +$130 billion. I mean, he’s got a lot of companies, so he has to have -like- three divorces. It’s basic arithmaticans, or math or something,

Lord Elon is the 2nd richest person in the world.

The top richest people just listed here, have divorces. . . Are you getting it now?

After a Divorce you will (for legal reasons ‘can’) become billionaires, FACT.

Bragging rights

After you get past the headache of splitting the cars, house, kids, dog, and your emotions; you’ll have to do some frogger shits and jump-through-hoops in a kangaroo divorce court.

As a man, you might have to pay alimony and decide to align your political movements towards MGTOW or Men-Going-Their-Own-Way. This is a trap. You should instead hoard your wealth, convert everything to prenuptial agreements, disbelieve the notion of fairytales and “true love” and then fill the hole of other people, because you can’t fill the one in your heart. Oh wait, that’s the same thing as MGTOW, my bad.

As a woman, you might win alimony and decide to marry above your class. Aim for someone richer, someone with a deep heart and even deeper pockets. Heck, if you came out on top financially, why not just do this whole marriage thing as a profitable venture? Think of it like flipping houses, but the house you’re flipping is the home-family-unit. All for money of course.

At the end of the day, regardless of your path. You can brag.

Divorce papers are great to have, and even better to hang up.

To showcase on your wall, Frame it and make it glaringly obvious to all your guests that you’re divorced. Hell, if you’ve got a nice corporate office, why not stick that award in plain view of your coworkers.

Bonus points, you might get sum (weird-pity) fuk out of it.

Bonus side story

A friend of mine was doing marriage counseling to help him and his marriage stick together.

Like an idiot.

Anyways, every time he went to the therapy sessions, it would be him getting verbally shat on by his wife and the counselor. So basically they ganged up on him and made him look like the bad guy.

This Counselor just confirmed biases and agreed with the wife at every corner.

Turns out, the Marriage Counselor ran a gig where he would side with the wife -always- and bang them behind closed doors.

I mean, the Marriage Counselor got some poon, and some cash. He doesn’t care if your marriage actually works out, that would mean he loses money and -equally important- pussy.

Just like any talk therapy; in short,

marriage counseling is a fucking scam.

Unless you’re a cuck.

In Closing

Look out for the All-American five time Divorce Champion!

This article is more directed to male counterparts. For whatever reason.

Although for females, the equivalent seems to be abortion, so just pump those numbers up too. I support your decision in killing babies, always. 👏👏👏 All 👏 WAYS 👏 👏👏👏

Oh, also, just ignore the suicide, depression, and loss of money, life, and limb that comes with divorce. No one wants a negative Nancy to warn you about the negatives of a divorce.

Definitely don’t think about how Marriage is a scam itself, and just ignore the dowry and money in the proceedings for a ceremony, papers, and the subsequent divorce. No need to care about money, unless there’s commas.

Also, talk therapy ain’t bad. Just don’t get scammed, it’s on you. Talk therapy is a do-with process, and I could go more in to detail, but you’re not here for real advice. So just binge drink and forget you even seen this article.

If you’re worried about being a bad person, well, just don’t.

Duh, fucking idiot.

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice