The Calm before the Storm

Hey, remember how I said some small time Family Hedge Fund got to leverage a shit ton of money? Well what would happen if it was a larger hedge fund? Like, idk, someone who manages more than 40% of retail order flow in a quadrillion dollar asset market (stonks)?

Archegos leverages some millions into billions.

Well what if someone with billions of dollars were to leverage just like Archegos? What if they also had good balance sheet proving a great ROI and credit history, the whole ‘Too big to fail’ and was able to get a better multiplier?

Well, I don’t know shit about shit, so here goes a shit post. You can thank all the constant GME shit that’s been brewing for these connections.

Record breaking Bonds;

These entities got some bonds, which are basically a reverse loan. (They took out loans). Some how they reported really high earnings and just want a loan for some sort of business opportunity. lmao, Just keep that in mind.

Some are even record breaking,

BOFA deez nuts, lmao, jk, I’m talking about;

Bank of America (Aka BAC);

Literally same day, they just wanted to beat JPM I guess. See, I told you having massive amounts of debt is a good thing.

Consider debt like a life line, now you’ve got investors invested in you and you can’t fail them. Ha, it’s like you’re too big to fail. Good thing this won’t repeat like 2008. Nope, definitely not going to repeat a financial ‘cyclical’ black swan event fueled by negligence and fiduciary retardation. Lmao;

This is of course after a great earnings call/report

-Also Barrens

If we rewind a bit,

Citadel also issued some bonds way earlier, for who knows what reason;

Lights on over the weekend

Everyone seems to be pulling some overtime, some over-over-over time. By overtime, I’m talking about working on the weekend from night past midnight type overtime. You know, stock reloader retail type hours, grave yard shift type hours, the Got-caught-in-finance type hours.

Something is going on at these institutions;


Saturday April 17th

Bank of America;

Sunday April 18th

Citadel too,

Picture for reference;

And let me tell ya, a lot of Apes are corroborating their speculations;

Apparently JPM Chase and Citadel work in the same building. It’s a typical thing in finance, also good for business. lmao, ‘business’.

just more proof from that person’s post

Someone even did a mission chimp-possible and got drone footage of the building;

All this suggests is that the lights are on and something is happening. You know, think water-gate scandal but without the truth of the scandal yet. Because, the truth ain’t out yet. lmao.

Lmao, these memes are what make life worth while;

Lmao, someone even named this weekend a holiday for the shit storm of possibly destruction of records and data;

This should be a global holiday in my opinion, not often do we get the potential death throes of an invisible corporate financial Titan that has been pulling many global strings in their favor.

It’s not Just American Banks/Institutions;

Like this shit is running deep, global financial implication type stuff;

Also these people that exist apparently;

-I don’t even know what they do, but they’re guilty of something

Besides London;

Amsterdam also had some sketch dealings in the past. But I mean, most banks do. That’s a side comment, just look at these work hours over da weekend.

Especially Deutsche bank; The joke on Wall Street is;

If there is a scandal involved with banking, It’s definitely got something to do with Deutsche Bank.

Also UBS too?

Translation: “UBS and Deutsche Bank have their lights on”

Credit Suisse too;

And there are bearish bets being placed on the markets;

Here’s a link for more info,

Good boy, good doggo

What’s going to happen to all these financial institutions? Stay tuned to next week!

In Closing,

These shit-ticles (shit articles) have devolved into curated shit posts. You’re welcome.

Ha, there’s no safe bet

Zero Hedge, if you will,

But I imagine a torrential shit storm is about to hit come this next week.

Especially since that madlad Deep Fucking Value, quadruple down on his position in GME shares last week.

We’ll see when the SEC rules get implemented on April 22nd.

Take advice from a dog, not me

And we’ll also see when people do whatever they want on April 20th for the Shareholder meeting or whatever. 4/20, Nice.

Lmao, no safe bet, but prepare for a flock of black swans soon, if not next week.

*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice

You met me at a very strange time in my life

And whatever happens, happens

No Safe Bets

(In actuality, there is a probabilistic chance that the bonds issued are being used to help reset a timer and delay any market events. So there is a likelihood chance of nothing happening this week. Additionally it seems Crypto Bull run might have benefited from unsubstantiated ((or yet-to-be-substantiated)) claims of financial institutions laundering their money through the international coins. Thus the recent crypto market flash crash could be related to institutions pulling out their laundered money in fear. Now that that money that was hedge invested into crypto is liquid, it could further buy more time or hedge or whatever. In theory, approximately 15 to 30 more days for FTDs to be reported, a few more days on top of that for a Threshold Security to be declared, and 14ish more days before shorts have to cover for the GME thing. Again, there aren’t any safe bets. The market’s going to crash, we just don’t know when.

Hell Can you even predict when you’re going to die? No? But you know you’re going to, right? See, Even that is not a safe bet. So there are No Safe Bets

UPDATE May 5th, 2021; nothing happened so far. See, told you there are No Safe Bets.

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