This is a shit post about two stories. Two stories to build a story about Insurance and ultimately taxes.
The following shit post uses AI imagery, because it’s all shit posting.
Also, just pretend I’m that drunk uncle with a long white beard that your parents tell you to avoid because I espouse conspiracy theories and talk about spiritual enlightenment at the family function. Give me a raspy voice with a few spindles of spit coming out of my mouth like you would any old timer with salt under their balls.
The Shipping Port insurance
There once was a port town in a kingdom far far away in a land of time before history was recorded in an alternate universe five black holes deep and to the right a smidgen. A little more to the right, yea, that’s the location.
Point being, this port was lively and had many ships come and go, many merchant vessels and fishing vessels, ferries and more would make their way into the harbor and port. Restock and reload and buy and sell, trade, before making their way out of the mouth of the harbor and out to the open sea.
The local underlord in the kingdom had a bright idea, and wanted to collect protection fees, and demanded ships to pay insurance. It was branded and advertised as a way to help guard and protect the ships.
“of course there’s a chance you can be robbed, there’s also a chance you won’t, but there’s no safe bets. Why not buy into our insurance model to help protect your precious cargo? I mean, can your really afford losing your precious cargo? You have debtors, we’re here to make this business transaction or venture you’re embarking on much safer. Join our network of over 1,000 satisfied customers and Captains for the past two months that are using our services” – Said the Insurance Salesman
Those that did, gets a few unpaid debt-slave criminals to help watch their ship leave the harbor safely while watching over the goods. They had some ships on standby to ‘help’ anyone covered by their insurance. Anti piracy is a big deal you know.
For those that didn’t buy the insurance for the ‘piece of mind’. Well those guys always always, and I mean always, happened to meet pirates that would take their shit and burn the boats. The pirates also happened to be using similar ships as the insurance companies.
What a coincidence, if you point the similarities in the ships out, they’ll call you a conspiracy theorist and mock you for thinking that a thousand years in the future you’ll talk about how poisoning the water causes gay frogs. Truly the Dark ages, lemme tell ya.
Obviously no one can control lawless pirates except for when they’re hunting them down. And the King of that Port was being paid a nice amount of hush money (another tax) as gas fees to turn a blind eye. It’s easy to bribe someone in the business of making money with, well, money.
The King regulated the amount of piracy to ensure that overall trade wasn’t being negatively affected and public moral or scrutiny didn’t pin the port as being the problem. Most people agreed but if anyone started ‘the noticing’ then they’d be hushed and silenced because they threaten the Crown and it’s port.
The Port Governor under the king might have sad something like “yea steal and be pirates but your quota this month is like fifteen ships, sorry can’t let any more robbing then that, my hands are tied”
Eventually, everyone that docked or left the harbor even in passing became a target. They would essentially pay a toll and had to ‘kiss the ring’ of the underlord. In turn the Underlord would kiss the ring of the king with the bribe and hush money, until eventually- either the Underlord got replaced or the Underlord rose up against the king and became the Overlord. You know, the King, and the practice would keep going ad infinitum until merchants got wiser and started noticing.
As a side note, some of the unpaid criminal debt slaves were the pirates and they decided to break free from their debts and rob the ship for real. They actually became real pirates and did their own shit. But that’s a story for another day.
Also a side note, look into British Impressment into their navy. They literally kidnapped people and turned them into sailors against their will. Get Drunk and drugged or beaten then wake up on a ship. It’s no wonder the British Navy fucking lost to Yankees, and also no wonder the British ships resorted to or surrendered to piracy a lot. Most people on board didn’t give a fuck, and the Captain and line officers were the only one’s that typically cared.
A Tale of two villages
There once was a village that constantly got screwed over by bandits, marauders, raiders, etc. You know the works.
The village was able to hide enough money to buy enough supplies to arm their able bodied men and hire a few mercenaries to defend the village. They created a sort of newfound town guard that offered some modest protection.
The smaller issues of bandits and thieves were quickly resolved with a simple might makes right policy. Eventually the village fended off small time bandits and robbers. This allowed the village to grow more wealth and have people specialized as the town guards.
Luckily, no large hordes of invaders or natural disasters be struck the village. The village grew into a bustling town where not everyone knew eachother but the walls and watch towers were manned and primed. Hell, the Town Guards even had their own barracks, quarters, and break rooms to complain about their wives, drink booze, and play poker.
The Town guards maintained peace, and for a time it was good. But the town guards eventually got bored of too many nights of poker and started developing ‘class consciousness’ and thought to themselves “we guards are strong, we are being oppressed by the weak sheeple that we protect. Perhaps it’s time we liberate ourselves from the chains of oppression and demand more pay for putting our lives on the line while these stupid farmers and workers enjoy tilling their fields”.
You know, because the working class isn’t the only class. You literally can’t have class warfare without another ‘class’ of people. Any real Marxist would understand that. (If you’re left on the political spectrum advocating for collectivism and you can’t understand that, you’re retarded)
So the Town Guards started demanding more protection money, more food, more benefits. They sort of unionized to be a gang which eventually no one questioned because they had weapons. So they essentially became the de facto state of protection. Establishing themselves as a political faction called ‘The Guard’ and slowly gaining power and momentum collecting protection fees as a racket.
And of course, the Vampire peasants and workers that do their cozy life of laboring in the fields or workshops or bakeries far away from violence claimed they were being ‘oppressed’ by the militant regime and gang of The Guard. As if *scoff* you shouldn’t side with the oppressors and eat their propaganda, that’s what they want you to think.
As usual, the Town Guards maintained peace, and for a time it was good(mainly for the Guards).
The Second Village;
Coincidentally there was another village, a second one. This village lived neighboring to the first, but they were further back in a more remote area in the boonies, the sticks, or the mountains. So they didn’t have a need for protection as much since they didn’t come across bandits or lawlessness for -reasons-.
The Guard from the first Town saw how kush of a life this second village had and saw it as a stronghold filled with more laborer and farmer oppressors. Damn Vampires.
So like any man, there comes a time when they have to find the courage. And after many months of talking and writing their samizdat on their poker cards, the Guard willed up the courage and decided to pay a visit to extort, I mean, make this village pay their protection dues.
Because this village was shielded by the Town, it only made sense that the village also paid for the service it was getting from the The Guard. The village was the equivalent to some neighbor siphoning your cable or free wifi or electricity. Leeches.
And so the guards went a knocking and demanded payment or else. If they didn’t want to pay for protection against bandits, then the guard would either pretend to be bandits to get their money or just take the money anyway with weapons in broad daylight. What are you gonna do about it? Out numbered and out armed, the village naturally acquiesced (or protested and got silenced anyway).
And thus, Taxes were born. (Technically, taxes were born the moment The Guard unionized and started getting too big for their britches but potato-potatoe).
Obviously the Guard decided to expand it’s villages under it’s protection and offer more protection features like ‘roads’ as installments or DLC. The Guard also, obviously, decided to knock on more Vampire-Villages with a V, and get them to pay their fees. It was only a matter of time until a Union leader for the Guard became the King or whatever the fuck and now we have kingdoms and they’ll claim they have some sort of divine right to legitimacy and start invading, conquests, colonialism, etc. etc.
As a side note, the rise of Genghis Khan is pretty dope and makes absolute sense to the natural formation of a kingdom and an empire. It kind of mirrors the stories above but with less jokes and more real deaths. Do recommend.
In Closing
I, as the usual degenerate conman just made up these two stories. You see, a con-artist is an artist, and the art of the con requires creative and inventive solutions. Which means naturally I can bullshit things.
I just made this shit post to illustrate to you what protection rackets are, and how they may form through insurance or state governance. You know, bandits in blue claiming to be the IRS or some tax collecting agency to take your money without formal representation.
In both the stories above, I show Overlord taxation and Underlord Taxation. Protection fees and a vig. From the spark of an idea to the fruition and full steam momentum of it’s actions. I mean, when has any power willingly reduced or lower taxes and maintained that? What, are you not paying 50% of your paycheck to taxes or are you just rich?
You can draw parallels with these stories to today’s worlds, to include the militant guard, the Old Guard, The Roman Praetorian Guard, the Financial Guard, or how insurance is mandated and required by the state.
Taxes are an insurance to live in a healthy society for as long as the taxes are being used to promote general welfare. If you read the constitution, it literally says a version of that. If general welfare isn’t being maintained and billions of dollars are going to foreign countries to be laundered while the general welfare lives pay check to pay check, drown in taxes, and borderline homeless or are homeless. . . Then maybe you ought to rethink about how ‘civilized’ your society is.
There are tribes out there living in mud huts that are more free than you. For better or worse.
Also, State mandated/required insurance is a scam. I can go into that in much deeper details but I’ll let you do the brain leg work to get you to the rational conclusion. The short and simple is that Insurance companies are for profit, and they lobby to profit off of not paying you, and that these companies will burn their competition to the ground through litigation in claims courts. Free Market Lawfare, I tell you.
Two constants in life, death and taxes. They both suck but aren’t necessarily inherently evil. It’s only when there’s too much death or taxes and it’s too frequent does it become a real problem. The question is, how much is too much?
Eh, life is shit sometimes, and it’s all suffering from a Buddhist perspective. So, yea. Enjoy the shit post.
*Not Valid Financial, Legal, Life, or Any Advice